Category Archives: Reader Submissions

Guest Post by Joe Miterko | Being a Ted Head is the Thing to Do in the Messianic Movement

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Melbourne, FL- Rabbi Alan Levine, Rabbi of Congregation of Kol Moshiach in Melbourne, FL recently was basking in the afterglow of a Ted Pearce concert. “As I was growing up, being a Dead Head for The Grateful Dead was the thing to do!” said Levine. “But now with all these changes in the Messianic movement, like Muchan on the Moon, Yeshua-centered amusement parks, and the inception of the Golden ARCH, a wonderful young leadership training program, I’m thinking I regret my days of being a Dead Head and want to move forward for Messiah. The young people need something different, you know? So one day in my office I was thinking ‘…gosh what would millennials like? Ted Pearce? Ted Pearce meets the Grateful Dead?? A Ted Head??? Yeah! Brilliant!!’ That’s how the inception of the concept of Ted-Heads came about!”

Jewish Voice Ministries International President and CEO, Jonathan Bernis even decided to include in his menu at the Yeshualand theme parks the “Ted Head Tater Tots” in addition to the “Adam’s McBeefRib” and “The Big Maccabee.”  He also decided to have Ted Pearce’s Cultural Xchange gear and virtual reality goggles prominently displayed in each Yeshualand location. “Why not fuel that fire that our young people are into it?” says President Bernis.

Not only is this catching fire in Levine’s own congregation and at Yeshualand locations, the rage is spreading. “We want to get Ted to come give us a concert! We love him and think our young people could start a revolution of ‘Ted Heads’ that could spread around the world. Who needs the Grateful Dead anymore?! Bring on the Ted!!” said Rabbi Paul Saal of Shuvah Yisrael in Hartford, CT.  “We need more young people to be Zealous over Zion, you know? Also, they must ‘Awake’ with many shofar blasts!”

UMJC Representative, Abe Melman couldn’t agree more. “The UMJC is going to have Ted come down to give a lecture at the next conference in Chicago about ‘How to be a Mensch While Being a Ted Head.’ He’ll also be teaching ‘Worship Leading with a Smile.’ We couldn’t be more excited.” For more information on Ted and to hear some of his wonderful music, check out http://www.tedpearce.com/.

 

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Guest Post by Nathanial Hackett | Harrison Ford Named as Key Note Speaker for Upcoming IAMCS Rabbi’s Conference

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Orlando, FL – In light of the Star Wars craze, Rabbis everywhere are desperate to gain more knowledge or intimately know more about Stars Wars and Rogue One.  So they sought עדַיָ, who they find, through Google, is a character of Star Wars.  While the transliteration was incorrectly spelled “Yoda,” they originally asked for him to speak at the upcoming IAMCS Rabbi’s Conference in Orlando next month.  Finding he was over 900 years old, they felt the trip might be exhaustive, so they sought after the next eldest Jewish Guy, Harrison Ford.

While not Messianic, Harrison Ford said he could understand dying in order to save the galaxy or even just one person, like a son, for example.  He said he is not sure about walking on water, but he has known several Skywalkers, so he thinks his knowledge is broad enough. He is also willing to share many stories and insight to the younger single Rabbis on how to woo young JAPs; Jewish Alderaanian Princesses.  He did warn that a career of smuggling is not the best resume and said, quite frankly, JAPs have big Daddy issues and strange brother sister closeness, and suggested avoiding them, unless they are very rich.

Ford suggested that Star Wars was critical to everyday life, as so many of the younger generations already know.  In honor of the importance of Rogue One, and Star Wars in general, he suggested switching the Manischewitz out for Blue Milk.  He also suggested that all Menorahs replace the candles with miniature lightsabers.  This should draw in young people by the thousands…If not, then you can always try free movie tickets…

 

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Guest Post by Joe Miterko | Joel Chernoff and Paul Wilbur Announce New Messianic Band That’ll Knock Your Shofars Off

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Orlando, FL- The famed Joel Chernoff, who penned such classics as “Baruch Adonai,” “Jew and Gentile,” “The Sacrifice Lamb,” and many more, hit the Messianic Music Scene back in a huge way this past week.

“I decided to team up with Paul Wilbur and make a new band called ‘Tamb,’” said Chernoff, at the MJAA Southeast Regional Conference, this past weekend. “It’ll be like my previous project ‘Lamb’ with Rick Coghill and Ted Pearce, only a bit different. Both Paul and I were deeply moved by the roaring sound of the jingling tambourines at the Messiah Conference this past summer during our sets, so I came over to him and asked, ‘Hey Paul, we both were crying because of those tambourines in our sets at Messiah, why don’t we actually collaborate on a new Messianic music project together? We’ve never done one, so how bout it?’ He got very excited and was all in after I presented the idea! I’m so excited!!”

Tamb is already starting to write some new material, such as “Shake Your Tambs, All You People,” “I Will Keep the Beat With My Brothers,” and “Blow a Trumpet in Zion, Not Grantham, PA.” “Our goal is to get the movement excited about creative expression as much as possible,” commented Wilbur at the same SE Regional Conference.  “We want to hear some great Shouts of Joy about this new project!”

The first album plans to drop in early 2017 and will be sponsored by Jonathan Bernis’ new Yeshualand theme parks.  To find out more about Joel visit https://joelchernoff.wordpress.com/ and Paul visit https://www.wilburministries.com/. To learn more about Jonathan Bernis and Jewish Voice Ministries International, visit http://www.jewishvoice.org/.

 

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2017 Re-Branding!

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We’ve re-branded for 2017! Special thanks to our friends at Keren Ohr Messianic Synagogue in Savannah, GA for their help: Ellie Caracelo drew our new mascot, Elliot C. Meow (before anybody asks: yes, his family’s original last name was Meowskowitz and it was shortened at Ellis Island) and Rebbetzin Jennifer Caracelo re-designed our logo, as well as our new web site and business cards! Be sure to check it out the new web site! And, just so we’re all on the same page, there is a ride at Yeshualand named after this family: The Jude and Jennifer Carousel-o! 🙂

Guest Post by Rabbi Eric Tokajer | Messianic Music Under Attack

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In an attempt to diminish the growing popularity of the Messianic Movement and stop the increasing influence of Messianic Movement within the believing world, a new provision has been injected into U.S. copyright law. This provision makes it illegal to use the word ‘lai’ or any derivatives, such as ‘lai lai’ or ‘lai la lai lai lai’ in any songs.

This action has, for all intents and purposes, made it impossible to write any new Messianic Music. When asked for responses, Joel Chernoff of Lamb responded, “We will not take this lai’ing down.” Ted Pearce, when asked about this new law, held his fingers in his ears alternately saying, “I can’t hear you lai lai lai lai”. Paul Wilbur, possibly the best known Messianic recording artist, stated emphatically, “These are the days of Elijah, and praying for the return of Yeshua when the wolf will lai down with the lamb.”

 

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And the winner of the first ever Messianic Meow caption contest is Craig Arbour. Mazel tov, Craig!

 

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Guest Post by Sean Emslie | MJTI Announces New Graduate Certificate in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts Coming in 2017

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Today, Messianic Jewish Theological Institute President, Rabbi Elliot Klayman announced a new graduate certificate program at MJTI, focused on developing leaders in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts.

Klayman stated, “For the last 20 years, MJTI has been teaching and preparing the next generation of Messianic Rabbis via our Masters in Jewish Studies and Rabbinical School, and, with our recent certificate program in Cantorial Studies, we continue our work of building up the next generation of Messianic Cantors.

In 2017, we’re looking to build up the next generation of another important part of Messianic Jewish life, by raising up the next generation of the Messianic Jewish Worship Arts Leaders.

We all know how important it is in Messianic Jewish life to have quality liturgy and quality teaching, which is the work of Cantors and Rabbis. Now we look to focus on the other important areas of Messianic Jewish life, this being the broad category that we call ‘Messianic Jewish worship arts,’ which includes Davidic Dancing, Banner Waving (includes Streamers), Star of David shaped Tambourine playing, and of course, Shofar Blowing (both during the High Holidays and randomly during the year). To build up the next-generation of leaders in these areas, in the Spring 2017 quarter, we are starting the new Graduate Certificate in the Messianic Jewish Worship Arts program.”

The five courses required are:

  1.  The Theology of Davidic Dance

  2.  Leading Davidic Dance

  3.  Banner Waving (Includes Streamers)

  4.  Star of David Shaped Tambourine Skills

  5.  Shofar Blowing for Year Round Use (Why Limit it to the High Holidays?)

Rabbi Dr. Mark Kinzer, founder and President Emeritus of MJTI, also commented, “MJTI continues to seek to develop a modern mature Messianic Judaism for the future and adding these important skills, especially skilled shofar blowers and banner wavers within our synagogues, will build up leaders for the future. Those gifted in these arts will help to continue growing our movement for the future and help us to cement our role as Jews within the greater Jewish community.”

Klayman also noted, “If there is great interest in our first year, we may consider developing a full Masters program in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts, which would be a 48 unit program with advanced skills training, and thesis, on an area of Messianic Jewish Theology and the Worship Arts.”

For more information on the new program please visit MJTI.org.

 

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Survey

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Please take a few minutes to fill out this survey about The Meow and let us know what you think so far. Your responses are very important to the future of The Messianic Meow. Thank you!

Guest Post By Rabbi Dr. Stuart Dauermann | Messianic Group Calls for Return to Biblical, Not Statist or Rabbinical Weddings

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Responding to long-represented trends in the Movement, and recent societal trends, a growing group of young Messianics is calling for a repudiation of the contaminating effects of rabbinic laws and governmental interference in wedding practice.

The President of the group is Bozo Lipschitz of Congregation Davar Acher in Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. We met him in his biblical tent, erected just outside the city limits.

“Yes, we’re following the flow of The Spirit in our movement, getting away from rabbinic interference in our religious practice. No chuppahs and crushed wine glasses for usI No Rabbis and Cantors either!  Ours is a Back to the Bible Messianic Movement, HalleluYAH! If we could free ourselves from the shackles of stupid Rabbinic Kosher laws and get back to Biblical Kosher, we can do the same about their oppressive marriage laws and get back to the Bible!”

When questioned about the current trend that has catalyzed their growing movement and its concerns, Lipschitz mentioned the impending election of Hillary Clinton, following on the heels of eight years of Barack Obama. “We see the Anti-Christ, the New World Order, and the Illuminati woven through all these Satanic politics. Everyone can see it. And we don’t want this kind of government interfering in this most personal of life events: marriage, and at its inception, our weddings. We don’t want interference from ungodly government or practices cooked up from Christ-rejecting Rabbis. HalleluYAH!”

The group is seeking to pass legislation removing the requirement of people having “statist wedding licenses.”  “We don’t need them. Abraham didn’t. Paul didn’t. Our Lord, Yeshua, didn’t, So why should we?” And in place of Rabbinic marriage rites, like chuppahs, crushed wine glasses and ketubahs, the group has begun to practice what it terms “Biblical marriage,” a counterpart of “Biblical Kosher.”

Lipschitz explains, “We follow the Biblical example of Boaz and Ruth. Biblically, when a woman crawls under a man’s blanket at his feet and he says, “Who are you?” and she tells him, that’s it!  That’s Biblical marriage!  We like to call it “B’rith Ha-Blankie.” He smiled, but he said they were entirely serious.

“It’s either this or being in bondage to Messiah-rejecting Rabbis or the New World Order. There really is no other godly choice!”

They are planning a national conference soon called “Back to the Blankie” to be in Coeur d’Alene at a date to be determined.

Guest Post by Matt Nadler | Leaders Debate Whether Evan McMullin’s Pro-Israel Stance is Preferable to Impending Meteor

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Leaders clashed in a sprawling, spirited discussion at the Politics and Faith: Messianic Thinkers Forum, held at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Queens, NY.  Of particular note was the keynote debate: “Pro-Israel Mormon Neoconservatism or Death by Impending Meteor?”

In this forum organized by Chosen People Ministries, Messianic leaders debated whether independent candidate for President Evan McMullin’s pro-Israel views  might, in some sense, be preferable to the apocalyptic destruction sure to be faced by all of humankind for its hedonic rebellion against The Holy One.

In favor of the motion that Evan McMullin’s measured neo-conservativism regarding Israel is preferable to a certain apocalypse were Rabbi Dr. Mark Kinzer and Dr. Rich Robinson.  Against the motion were Rabbis Paul Saal and Eric Tokajer.

“It is true that we all must face the Creator in the teleological summation of all things, but if I may, this is simply a red herring,” opined Mark Kinzer, speaking for the motion that between Evan McMullin’s sketched out stances supporting Israel, and a deserved apocalypse, we should choose the former, not the latter. “The fact that we must meet our maker at some point does not mean that we should simply wish for it to happen this January.”

“Evan McMullin’s views on Israel, however briefly detailed, bring two issues to the table which are important for us to understand,” explained Rich Robinson, also speaking for the motion. “First of all, he brings a deep respect to Israel’s full sovereignty and self-determination, in regards to any future negotiations or peace process. Second of all, being a sane man, with respect to his position on Israel and foreign policy in general, it is unlikely that he would do anything which would intentionally usher in some of the more problematic events spoken of in the Hazon of Yochanon.”

Arguing against Evan McMullin’s approach to foreign policy, and Israel in particular, Rabbi Saal argued, “This is a year of paradigm shifts. As you know, every year prior to this year is a year in which we have not ushered in the deserved destruction of our species. This is a year to live dangerously. This is the paradigm for our time.”  Before a highly engaged audience, he continued in his now trademarked rhyming cadence, “You tell me what all those ‘hashtag SMOD 2016’ memes mean if not the meanest of the mean, you know what I mean?”

Rabbi Eric Tokajer explained that there was nothing to add to this matter, as it had already been settled in the respective Republican and Democratic primaries.  “SMOD to all, and to all a goodnight,” he calmly concluded.

At the conclusion of the forum, the consensus of those in attendance was that both sides had won, and that there should be no more forums or conversations of any kind. The topic of whether there should be no more forums or conversations of any kind is now the scheduled theme for next year’s Messianic Thinkers Forum, to be held in Irvine, California, in October of 2017.