Category Archives: ARCH

Guest Post by Caitlyn and Jonathan Salkind | Worship Glue: A New Workshop for Messianic Worship Coordinators

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PHILADELPHIA, PA — The MJAA is pleased to announce the launch of a new long-distance tele-workshop for up-and-coming Messianic worship coordinators. Run by a team of current and former YMJA worship coordinators, including Jonathan Salkind, Michael and Nicci Katz, Mykie Collins, and others, the workshop will cover the skills needed to hold a band together and make the worship sound awesome.

“This workshop isn’t really for worship leaders,” explained Mykie Collins, “Though of course, worship leaders are welcome. Leading worship is about choosing songs, casting vision, connecting with the congregation, and being the lead singer. Worship coordination is about providing musical structure and communicating among the musicians, and it’s really a different skill set. Guitarists and bassists make excellent coordinators, or pianists if they aren’t leading. Drummers mostly spend their time pounding rocks together, so they might be less of a good fit. And backup singers just live in their own world.”

Jonathan Salkind agreed. “Most of the worship coordinator’s job is to translate the worship leader’s vision into something that can actually be played. Worship leaders know what they want but have no idea what they’re doing. Every weekend, I walk in, set up my bass, and get told, ‘I want this song to sound exactly like Shane and Shane.’ And then I’m the one who has to translate that into something workable. We don’t have a cello, people! Anyway, the worship coordinator is the one to work out what the chord progression actually is, how to make the dynamic transitions flow smoothly, and how to play a reggae version of ‘Shabbat Shalom’ because that’s apparently where modern Messianic music is heading.”

“And don’t get me started on the Rabbi’s requests,” Salkind added. “If the Rabbi calls the band up and asks for ‘that song I like,’ the worship coordinator had better be ready to launch into ‘Every Praise’ with no chord chart. That’s my job.”

“I was in a rehearsal once for a YMJA morning worship time,” recalled Nicci Katz, “And I had chosen a great set list, but the chord charts weren’t in the key I wanted to sing for any of the songs. I can just clip a capo to my guitar, and I remember the keyboard had a transpose wheel, but the bassist and the saxophone player were totally lost. If my worship coordinator hadn’t stepped in, the whole set would have been ruined.”

The workshop will cover musical arrangement, volume dynamics, transposing songs on the fly, keeping the drummer from speeding up, keeping the drummer from slowing down, and keeping the drummer from adding too many splashy fills. It will also address some of the essentials of tech setup and mixing. “Knowing how to run a sound board is really important,” Collins explained. “I found this out the hard way. If your tech person that day is a teenager who got volunteered because he’s good with computers but not so good with music, the coordinator needs to be able to jump in and explain how to make the sound actually sound like music.”

Messianic worship leaders all over the country have expressed their excitement about the new coordinators’ workshop. “I have a doctorate in music, so I can actually lead and coordinate at the same time,” said Dr. Greg Silverman, “But every other worship leader I’ve ever met is in desperate need of a good coordinator. Or a doctorate.”

When reached for comment, singer-songwriter, Joshua Aaron, appeared confused by the idea. “I play the uke,” he said, “And the whole band comes together. The Holy Spirit just flows, right?”

For Messianic worship leaders, the ARCH Training Summit and other already-established events provide excellent opportunities to grow in their skills and ministry. 

 

 

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Early Bird Registration Deadline for Messiah Conference 2017 is May 31st, and They Mean it This Time. No, Really; They Do

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Springfield, PA – The beginning of Messiah Conference 2017 is now just 41 days away, and early bird registration discount prices are set to end on May 31st. The MJAA has a long history of extending their conference registration deadlines, but this year’s Messiah Conference will be unlike the others, as the MJAA has stated they will not be extending their early bird deadline this year.

“Yes, we are notorious for extending the registration deadline for all of our conferences,” said Conference Services representative, Leah Levine. “We extend the early bird and regular registration deadlines for Messiah Conference, our regional conferences, YMJA retreats, and ARCH Leadership Summit pretty regularly. You could actually set your watch to it. However, this year we have to lay down the law. We raised the price of Messiah Conference this year, and there’s a reason for that. If we could afford to give everyone the ‘early bird’ price up until the day of the conference we would. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of this being about money and now we have to make up for all those deadline extensions we granted. Plus, if we don’t keep people on their toes, they won’t keep coming back. So register by May 31st. Or else.”

You can register for Messiah Conference at www.messiahconference.org The cost is supposedly going to go up by $50 per person if you register after May 31st, but it will probably really be more like June 9th or 10th.

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YMJA Plans Special Interpretive Song and Dance Video Tribute to April the Giraffe

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Atlanta, GA – Big news from The Young Messianic Jewish Alliance this week as they announce they are planning a video tribute to the April the Giraffe, who was mercilessly slaughtered over the weekend, simply because giraffes are biblically Kosher, but are not readily available as food. The video will be a sequel to the still yet to be released tribute to Harambe, that was supposed to have been released five months ago.

“We filmed the Harambe video in January at the ARCH Leadership Summit, but my laptop has been broken literally for forever,” said YMJA member, Caleb Goldberg, who is in charge of making both the April and Harambe tribute videos. “I could let someone else edit the videos, but I like to keep my commitments. Besides, I’m Jewish, aren’t I supposed to be late with everything?? I don’t think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew; I feel very optimistic that I will be able to release both videos in time for the 10th anniversary of their deaths!”

The videos will be released on YouTube and Facebook as soon as they are ready. Goldberg says both videos will include the same footage, and mostly the same song lyrics, just to save time. Keep your eyes peeled; the videos will be posted on The Messianic Meow Facebook page as soon as they are finished.

 

 

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ARCH Leadership Summit Ends in Chaos After Everyone Leaves Without a New CC

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Orlando, FL – Disaster has struck the 2017 ARCH Leadership Summit in Orlando this weekend after not one single attendee found a new conference crush. This marks the first time in the history of Messianic Jewish conferences that there have been no matches made, even if just unrequited. While completely out of the ordinary, there were some survivors of the incident.

“In all my years of attending conferences, I’ve never seen anything like this,” said YMJA Secretary, Melissa Brown, via The YMJA Facebook page. “I don’t even understand how you can get a whole conference room full of Messianic guys and girls and not one single person has developed new feelings for someone. The YMJA exec board had an emergency Skype meeting to discuss this. We think the problem stemmed from Nate Benjamin not attending this year’s Summit, which triggered a horrific chain reaction of hearts turning to stone, but there’s absolutely no way to prove that. The conference ended with everyone scrambling to find someone they might have slight feelings for, to no avail. Sadly, if this happens again it could mean extinction for the entire Messianic movement.”

We, at The Messianic Meow, are just absolutely famisht, verklempt, and plotzing at this tragic news. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the young people who have had to deal with such a travesty and we hope they will be able to bounce back quickly and find some new CCs during the Summer 2017 conference season. Godspeed, young people; Godspeed.

 

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IAMCS To Implement War on Hugs

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Havertown, PA – The Messianic movement is filled with numerous conferences attended by people from all over the nation, and even the world. After not seeing each other for long periods of time, when everyone comes together on the first day of conferences it is inevitable that they love to hug and catch up with their friends. However, over the years things have gotten completely out of control.

The IAMCS/MJAA has announced a campaign called the “War on Hugs,” which is a term to describe the greater, collaborative effort to combat the countless gateway hugs on first days of conferences that lead to extended and pointless small talk, inability to unpack, and enabling of repetitive and/or unoriginal conversation topics.

IAMCS Director of Operations, Rabbi Joel Liberman, commented saying, “We’ve received many complaints from people of all ages. The younger generation is tired of getting hugs from people who only know them through their parents. The older generation is tired of not being able to come up with new conversation topics for the younger generation. And both generations are tired of seeing people show up to the first evening service of conference wearing sweat pants and flip flops because they didn’t have time to unpack!”

The MJAA is already taking action with their annual ARCH Leadership Summit just around the corner. An anonymous source claims they have hired a trained S.W.A.T. team (Sustained Welcome Avoidance Team) to help move people along through the registration lines.

“Of course we want people to greet each other and spread the love of Messiah all throughout conference,” Liberman added, “but we felt that if people are so overwhelmed with hugs and catching up that they can’t even unpack, we may be forced to scrub to the evening service. This is conference, people; not college.”

 

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Jonathan Bernis Comes Out as Huge One Direction Fan

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Phoenix, AZ – President of the Greater Messianic Movement, Jonathan Bernis, has finally admitted to being a big fan of the British pop band, One Direction. The announcement came after Bernis assigned the book “The One Thing,” by Gary Keller to those taking his leadership track at the upcoming ARCH Leadership Summit. The book has an eerily similar name to one of One Direction’s biggest hits, “One Thing,” and members of the movement began to speculate that this was not just a coincidence.

“Well, the rumors are true,” Bernis said in an e-mail blast. “I am a huge One Direction fan. I don’t oft listen to secular music, but I do love Dylan, The Grateful Dead, and, of course, One Direction. There’s just something about their haunting melodies and wistful lyrics that reach the depths of my soul. I did intentionally assign a book that had a similar name to my favorite One Direction song. Sadly, once I read it, I realized it had nothing to do with the band, but it was too late. However, I still expect everyone taking the Leadership Track at The Summit to read it.”

Bernis will speak more about his taste in music in the upcoming biography, “Human Like Us,” which will showcase in depth interviews with various Messianic Rabbis and other ministerial leaders, to give us a day to day look at what their lives are like outside of ministry. More information about this book will be forthcoming, through First Fruits of Zion is hoping to release the book before the major summer conferences of 2017.

 

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Guest Post by Joe Miterko | Being a Ted Head is the Thing to Do in the Messianic Movement

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Melbourne, FL- Rabbi Alan Levine, Rabbi of Congregation of Kol Moshiach in Melbourne, FL recently was basking in the afterglow of a Ted Pearce concert. “As I was growing up, being a Dead Head for The Grateful Dead was the thing to do!” said Levine. “But now with all these changes in the Messianic movement, like Muchan on the Moon, Yeshua-centered amusement parks, and the inception of the Golden ARCH, a wonderful young leadership training program, I’m thinking I regret my days of being a Dead Head and want to move forward for Messiah. The young people need something different, you know? So one day in my office I was thinking ‘…gosh what would millennials like? Ted Pearce? Ted Pearce meets the Grateful Dead?? A Ted Head??? Yeah! Brilliant!!’ That’s how the inception of the concept of Ted-Heads came about!”

Jewish Voice Ministries International President and CEO, Jonathan Bernis even decided to include in his menu at the Yeshualand theme parks the “Ted Head Tater Tots” in addition to the “Adam’s McBeefRib” and “The Big Maccabee.”  He also decided to have Ted Pearce’s Cultural Xchange gear and virtual reality goggles prominently displayed in each Yeshualand location. “Why not fuel that fire that our young people are into it?” says President Bernis.

Not only is this catching fire in Levine’s own congregation and at Yeshualand locations, the rage is spreading. “We want to get Ted to come give us a concert! We love him and think our young people could start a revolution of ‘Ted Heads’ that could spread around the world. Who needs the Grateful Dead anymore?! Bring on the Ted!!” said Rabbi Paul Saal of Shuvah Yisrael in Hartford, CT.  “We need more young people to be Zealous over Zion, you know? Also, they must ‘Awake’ with many shofar blasts!”

UMJC Representative, Abe Melman couldn’t agree more. “The UMJC is going to have Ted come down to give a lecture at the next conference in Chicago about ‘How to be a Mensch While Being a Ted Head.’ He’ll also be teaching ‘Worship Leading with a Smile.’ We couldn’t be more excited.” For more information on Ted and to hear some of his wonderful music, check out http://www.tedpearce.com/.

 

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New YMJA Director of Operations, Sabra Waldman, Bans ‘Insignificant’ Brands of Hummus From All Future YMJA Functions

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Philadelphia, PA – A big announcement came out of the YMJA Executive Committee meetings in Philadelphia this week, as newly hired Director of Operations, Sabra Waldman, announced a ban on ‘insignificant’ brands of hummus from all future YMJA functions, including, but not limited to Cedar’s, Tribe, Trader Joe’s, and homemade incarnations. This is Waldman’s first major decision as part of the YMJA staff.

“As you probably guessed, Sabra Hummus is named after me,” Waldman explained in an interview. “Believe it or not, the Waldman family does actually own the company. I know that snacks are a huge part of YMJA functions, and as the new Director of Operations, I want to make it very clear that, even though the leadership has recently changed, I am here for every YMJA member and I want to be very actively involved. The best way to do that is to have my name everywhere as a reminder of that. And, yes, Sabra Hummus was recently recalled, due to ‘Listeria.’ We did plan, intentionally, for that to happen around my coming aboard to the YMJA; there’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

YMJA members attending Regional conferences, retreats, ARCH Leadership Summit, and Messiah Conference can expect to find every variety of Sabra Hummus at future functions, in addition to other Sabra brand dips, such as guacamole, Greek yogurt dip, and salsa. Any YMJA member found sneaking in other brands of hummus will be subject to disciplinary action, including and up to eating said contraband without the use of their hands or utensils, via live stream on the YMJA Facebook page, as the crowd looks on. Punishments will also be Snapchatted and Instagrammed.

 

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Famed Rosen Plaza Hotel to Lift Lifelong Ban on Messianic Conferences

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Orlando, FL – The luxurious Rosen Plaza Hotel in Orlando, FL announced this week it will finally allow the Messianic Jewish Alliance of America to hold conferences and other Rabbinical and executive meetings on its premises. The announcement comes just in time for the MJAA Southeast Regional Conference, which will take place at The Rosen this coming weekend.

Susan Smith, a representative from The Rosen explained their thought process in a press release: “It’s nothing against their religion, so much as their culture, that we have not allowed them here in the past. We just don’t care for their matchmaking and their shofar blowing and their constant need to have food in every single room during all their events. Once they explained to us that if we lift the ban they will have 14 conferences and events here per year, we realized we were throwing money out the door by not letting them hold events here. So there you have it. We will also be providing complimentary shofar resistant ear plugs to all hotel guests during Messianic events on site.”

The MJAA is so grateful so have a new home for their annual events and will celebrate by holding three conferences at The Rosen within the next month: The MJAA Southeast Regional Conference December 16-18, The IAMCS Rabbi’s Conference January 2-5, and The YMJA ARCH Leadership Summit January 13-16. For more information about the upcoming Messianic conferences held at The Rosen please visit mjaa.org, iamcs.org, and ymja.org

 

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Jonathan Bernis Confirms Second Yeshualand Location Will Be in Arizona

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Phoenix, AZ – After much speculation about the new Messianic Jewish theme park Yeshualand potentially opening a location near Phoenix, Jonathan Bernis, President and CEO of Jewish Voice Ministries International has confirmed that there will, in fact, be a Yeshualand location opening in Arizona, just in time for holiday vacations in December.

After months of searching, Bernis says they were finally able to secure nearly 400 acres of land about an hour outside of Phoenix. In addition to all the great features of Yeshualand Ethiopia, Yeshualand Arizona will have new rides and attractions, including The Mikveh Machine, a quicksand pit, The Jude and Jennifer Carousel-o, and a giant lego firewalk.

The theme park will also have extra stages and a campground in the hopes that AMF 2.0 will choose to hold their event there, as they can technically hold it in Arizona and still be called “AMF.” At the very least, Bernis hopes The Havdalah Spice Girls will have a residency at the park. Bernis said the campground will also be a haven for travelers during Sukkot, starting in 2017, and said those wishing to build their Sukkahs there will get a special discount, in addition to a Sukkah building contest and other fun activities specific to the holiday.

Additionally, there will also be a one of a kind bible themed McDonald’s that will offer such items as Jonah and the Filet-O-Fish, Adam’s McBeefRib, the McYeshua, and the Big Maccabee. Bernis believes that having The Golden Arches on premises will attract the annual Golden ARCH Leadership Summit to Arizona, rather than holding the event at the ever unpopular Rosen Plaza Hotel in Orlando.

Annual passes to Yeshualand Arizona will be available to the public starting in November and will start at $1800 per family up to six; quite a metziah! Stay tuned for more information about Yeshualand Arizona and other locations to come.