Guest Post by Rebekah Williams | One in Messiah: From Song to Actuality

Cupid

Thanks to the faithfulness of the entire Messianic Community of eating matzah and conducting Gentile inclusive Seders during Pesach this year, The Lord has seen fit to give Rabbi David Chernoff a calling to develop the One in Messiah Dating Service. Rabbi David will follow in the footsteps of the most anointed Messianic matchmaker of all time, his Mother, the late Yohanna Chernoff.

The first installment of the new dating service will commence at Messiah Conference later this week, and will continue to all Messianic Jewish organizations. A newsletter has gone out to Messianic synagogues reading, “In commemoration of Adonai’s faithfulness in allowing Israel to officially be a Jewish state 70 years ago, Messianic believers worldwide will celebrate by helping young believers fulfill the first charge from God upon leaving the Garden of Eden: Be fruitful and multiply!” To go along with this year’s theme, every ‘single’ will be required to fill out a Heart’s Desire Survey® about their fruits of the spirit. MJAA leaders will then fast, pray, and lay prostrate before the Lord, in addition to using their God given talents of matchmaking. Singles will be matched based on ministry calling, Biblical knowledge, ideal service style, liturgy preference, and other spiritual gifts. Rebbetzin Debbie Chernoff has been quoted saying, “I’m really hoping 70 marriages come from this service, so that in two years at least 70 babies will be attending Conference!” When asked why at least 70 babies, Rebbetzin replied, “It’s not too much to believe God will provide several sets of twins you know!”

Details are beginning to emerge about the service and this includes information that there will be two sets of singles serviced this year. The first is the “Mary and Joseph” group that includes 18 to 25 year olds, who are joyfully anticipating the possibility of finding love, happiness, and fulfillment with their God appointed mate. There will also be the “Ruth and Boaz” group of 26 to 35ish year olds who are tired of hearing, “When are you going to settle down and cover my knees with grandchildren?!” from the synagogues’ Grandmothers and Rebbetzins. Upon coupling up, each couple will be assigned to a counselor, whose specialty in topics range from “Never been kissed” to “I had given up all hope and need to reemerge back into dating society.”

Many are asking what is the catch to all of this. Well, there is one; by signing up for One in Messiah, all successful marriages that result in children promise to give their first born son to the IAMCS to be raised up as a future Messianic Rabbi, to offset the current shortage of future leaders. 

Even with this excitement in the air, due to the possibility of unions, the MJAA leaders are looking forward to 2019 being the year of Ketubot. They have even hinted at plans of orchestrating a 70s themed mass wedding at Messiah Conference 2019, if all goes well.

 

 

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2017 Re-Branding!

elliottcmeow

We’ve re-branded for 2017! Special thanks to our friends at Keren Ohr Messianic Synagogue in Savannah, GA for their help: Ellie Caracelo drew our new mascot, Elliot C. Meow (before anybody asks: yes, his family’s original last name was Meowskowitz and it was shortened at Ellis Island) and Rebbetzin Jennifer Caracelo re-designed our logo, as well as our new web site and business cards! Be sure to check it out the new web site! And, just so we’re all on the same page, there is a ride at Yeshualand named after this family: The Jude and Jennifer Carousel-o! 🙂

New Insect Found Speaking in Tongues Dubbed “Praying Mantis”

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Limón Province, Pococí, Costa Rica – A new insect species was discovered this week in the Tortuguero National Park in Costa Rica. The species was found making noises that resemble human beings speaking in tongues, and was, therefore, dubbed the “Praying Mantis.” This new species is not to be confused with the more commonly known Praying Mantis, which has the Spiritual Gift of Intercession, rather than Tongues. Of course, this sounds incredibly far-fetched, but experts say it is more prevalent than we think.

“It’s actually very common for insects to have been given Spiritual Gifts,” said Leroy Brown, Head of The International Foundation for Charismatic Entomology. “Example: Spiders have the Gift of Craftsmanship, Crickets the Gift of Creative Communication, and Caterpillars have the Gift of Faith. Typically each insect will each have just one Gift, as opposed to humans who generally have around three. Though rare, some insects may also have more than one Spiritual Gift. Now that we’ve discovered a breed of Mantises that can pray in Tongues, I think we may find that some of them will also be able to intercede with the best of them.”

The new breed of Praying Mantis is thought to be found globally, though more research still needs to be done in order to verify that. While it is wonderful that these insects can pray in Tongues, a species of insects that can interpret Tongues has yet to be discovered. In other news, the first Worldwide Charismatic Insect Conference is currently in the works, to be held at The Rosen Plaza Hotel in the Summer of 2017, where mosquitoes will be recognized as the shofars of the insect world.

 

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