Category Archives: Worship

Guest Post by Joe Miterko | Dr. Greg Silverman to Conduct Yeshualand Philharmonic Orchestra

Posted on by

gregsilverman

Arizona, Murca – With the unveiling of Yeshualand Arizona, home state of the headquarters of President Jonathan Bernis’ Jewish Voice Ministries International (JVMI), some big things are happening, including the creation of a full-size Messianic Philharmonic Orchestra, The Yeshualand Players, who will perform at the grand opening of both the upcoming Arizona and Seattle locations.

The instrumentation of the Yeshualand Players Ensemble includes a 54-piece shofar section of different shapes, forms and sizes, a 128-piece tambourine section, and even 18 flag wavers and dancers.

Dr. Greg Silverman will be conducting the Yeshualand Players, and Rabbi Rich Nichol will be featured on jazz flute, soaring on top of the beautiful orchestra.  We had a chance to catch up with both of them.

“I’m overjoyed to be playing with these cats,” says Nichol, who’s always looking for a good opportunity to use his excellent music skills. “Not only will we be in a beautiful location for a good cause, it’ll just be a great time to play with the boys in the band. It’ll be a different sound – shofars and flute – and tambourines. Wow. Let’s hope we can keep the beat and stay on the ball with Dr. Greg.”

Dr. Greg couldn’t agree more. “This is a big step our Movement has never seen in its history. A Philharmonic orchestra! How amazing!!”

Says President Bernis, who will be joining the ensemble on Bass Shofar, “Our movement is getting ready to hear a joyful noise it has never heard before. Get those groggers ready. If the debut goes well, we’re taking this on the road. Look out, Messiah ’17; The Yeshualand Players are ready for you!”

As always, Manna Recording will be there to make sure CDs will be available of these performances. They can be purchased on site or at www.jewishvoice.org. For more information on Dr. Greg Silverman, visit www.gregsilverman.com and Rich Nichol visit www.ruachisrael.org

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Meme Contest

Posted on by

dabbingjews

Meme contest!!! Thank you to Margaret Alexander for sharing this glorious picture that is begging to be captioned. Post your best ideas here and the winner’s caption will be posted, along with credit given 🙂

Guest Post by Joe Miterko | Joel Chernoff and Paul Wilbur Announce New Messianic Band That’ll Knock Your Shofars Off

Posted on by

joelpaul

Orlando, FL- The famed Joel Chernoff, who penned such classics as “Baruch Adonai,” “Jew and Gentile,” “The Sacrifice Lamb,” and many more, hit the Messianic Music Scene back in a huge way this past week.

“I decided to team up with Paul Wilbur and make a new band called ‘Tamb,’” said Chernoff, at the MJAA Southeast Regional Conference, this past weekend. “It’ll be like my previous project ‘Lamb’ with Rick Coghill and Ted Pearce, only a bit different. Both Paul and I were deeply moved by the roaring sound of the jingling tambourines at the Messiah Conference this past summer during our sets, so I came over to him and asked, ‘Hey Paul, we both were crying because of those tambourines in our sets at Messiah, why don’t we actually collaborate on a new Messianic music project together? We’ve never done one, so how bout it?’ He got very excited and was all in after I presented the idea! I’m so excited!!”

Tamb is already starting to write some new material, such as “Shake Your Tambs, All You People,” “I Will Keep the Beat With My Brothers,” and “Blow a Trumpet in Zion, Not Grantham, PA.” “Our goal is to get the movement excited about creative expression as much as possible,” commented Wilbur at the same SE Regional Conference.  “We want to hear some great Shouts of Joy about this new project!”

The first album plans to drop in early 2017 and will be sponsored by Jonathan Bernis’ new Yeshualand theme parks.  To find out more about Joel visit https://joelchernoff.wordpress.com/ and Paul visit https://www.wilburministries.com/. To learn more about Jonathan Bernis and Jewish Voice Ministries International, visit http://www.jewishvoice.org/.

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Independent Messianic Congregation With Own Building Denounced By the Greater Messianic Community

Posted on by

synagoguebuilding

Portland, OR – The greater Messianic community has officially denounced Congregation Kol Echad Shtayim Shalosh of Portland, Oregon after it popped up out of nowhere with its own building, and refused to become a member of The UMJC, MJAA, Chosen People, or Tikkun International.

President Bernis called an emergency meeting, via Google Hangout, to discuss the, most likely, Satanic congregation. A vote was taken and passed unanimously that the Greater Messianic Movement wants nothing to do with this congregation, despite its faithful Torah observance, spirit-filled worship services, gourmet onegs, and a Jewish population of 75%.

Rabbi Morrie Iceberg, of Kol Echad Shtayim Shalosh explained, “We were sent an e-mail from President Bernis’ Executive Assistant asking where we came from, who sent us, and what we want. I’m not quite sure what the problem is here. There isn’t much of a Messianic Jewish presence in Portland and we had a building donated to us. We are a flourishing congregation of around 150 adults and 40 children. We just don’t feel the need to join an organization when we are doing fine on our own, and we prefer to stay neutral. We don’t want to get involved in any of that drama, and yet drama has still somehow found us. Really, we just want to worship The Lord and fellowship together. Apparently that’s not good enough for the rest of the movement. Why can’t they just leave well enough alone?”

Clearly this congregation is up to no good. We can only hope the obvious wolf in sheep’s clothing keeps its hands to itself. Vice President Rosenberg is being sent into the trenches to check out this atrocity, as he is so close in proximity. Godspeed, Vice President Rosenberg; may the force be with you.

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

2017 Re-Branding!

Posted on by

elliottcmeow

We’ve re-branded for 2017! Special thanks to our friends at Keren Ohr Messianic Synagogue in Savannah, GA for their help: Ellie Caracelo drew our new mascot, Elliot C. Meow (before anybody asks: yes, his family’s original last name was Meowskowitz and it was shortened at Ellis Island) and Rebbetzin Jennifer Caracelo re-designed our logo, as well as our new web site and business cards! Be sure to check it out the new web site! And, just so we’re all on the same page, there is a ride at Yeshualand named after this family: The Jude and Jennifer Carousel-o! 🙂

Guest Post by Rabbi Eric Tokajer | Messianic Music Under Attack

Posted on by

messianic-dance

In an attempt to diminish the growing popularity of the Messianic Movement and stop the increasing influence of Messianic Movement within the believing world, a new provision has been injected into U.S. copyright law. This provision makes it illegal to use the word ‘lai’ or any derivatives, such as ‘lai lai’ or ‘lai la lai lai lai’ in any songs.

This action has, for all intents and purposes, made it impossible to write any new Messianic Music. When asked for responses, Joel Chernoff of Lamb responded, “We will not take this lai’ing down.” Ted Pearce, when asked about this new law, held his fingers in his ears alternately saying, “I can’t hear you lai lai lai lai”. Paul Wilbur, possibly the best known Messianic recording artist, stated emphatically, “These are the days of Elijah, and praying for the return of Yeshua when the wolf will lai down with the lamb.”

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Guest Post by Sean Emslie | MJTI Announces New Graduate Certificate in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts Coming in 2017

Posted on by

rhythmic-star-of-david

Today, Messianic Jewish Theological Institute President, Rabbi Elliot Klayman announced a new graduate certificate program at MJTI, focused on developing leaders in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts.

Klayman stated, “For the last 20 years, MJTI has been teaching and preparing the next generation of Messianic Rabbis via our Masters in Jewish Studies and Rabbinical School, and, with our recent certificate program in Cantorial Studies, we continue our work of building up the next generation of Messianic Cantors.

In 2017, we’re looking to build up the next generation of another important part of Messianic Jewish life, by raising up the next generation of the Messianic Jewish Worship Arts Leaders.

We all know how important it is in Messianic Jewish life to have quality liturgy and quality teaching, which is the work of Cantors and Rabbis. Now we look to focus on the other important areas of Messianic Jewish life, this being the broad category that we call ‘Messianic Jewish worship arts,’ which includes Davidic Dancing, Banner Waving (includes Streamers), Star of David shaped Tambourine playing, and of course, Shofar Blowing (both during the High Holidays and randomly during the year). To build up the next-generation of leaders in these areas, in the Spring 2017 quarter, we are starting the new Graduate Certificate in the Messianic Jewish Worship Arts program.”

The five courses required are:

  1.  The Theology of Davidic Dance

  2.  Leading Davidic Dance

  3.  Banner Waving (Includes Streamers)

  4.  Star of David Shaped Tambourine Skills

  5.  Shofar Blowing for Year Round Use (Why Limit it to the High Holidays?)

Rabbi Dr. Mark Kinzer, founder and President Emeritus of MJTI, also commented, “MJTI continues to seek to develop a modern mature Messianic Judaism for the future and adding these important skills, especially skilled shofar blowers and banner wavers within our synagogues, will build up leaders for the future. Those gifted in these arts will help to continue growing our movement for the future and help us to cement our role as Jews within the greater Jewish community.”

Klayman also noted, “If there is great interest in our first year, we may consider developing a full Masters program in Messianic Jewish Worship Arts, which would be a 48 unit program with advanced skills training, and thesis, on an area of Messianic Jewish Theology and the Worship Arts.”

For more information on the new program please visit MJTI.org.

 

Support The Meow: patreon.com/messianicmeow

New Insect Found Speaking in Tongues Dubbed “Praying Mantis”

Posted on by

NGS Picture ID:1048238

Limón Province, Pococí, Costa Rica – A new insect species was discovered this week in the Tortuguero National Park in Costa Rica. The species was found making noises that resemble human beings speaking in tongues, and was, therefore, dubbed the “Praying Mantis.” This new species is not to be confused with the more commonly known Praying Mantis, which has the Spiritual Gift of Intercession, rather than Tongues. Of course, this sounds incredibly far-fetched, but experts say it is more prevalent than we think.

“It’s actually very common for insects to have been given Spiritual Gifts,” said Leroy Brown, Head of The International Foundation for Charismatic Entomology. “Example: Spiders have the Gift of Craftsmanship, Crickets the Gift of Creative Communication, and Caterpillars have the Gift of Faith. Typically each insect will each have just one Gift, as opposed to humans who generally have around three. Though rare, some insects may also have more than one Spiritual Gift. Now that we’ve discovered a breed of Mantises that can pray in Tongues, I think we may find that some of them will also be able to intercede with the best of them.”

The new breed of Praying Mantis is thought to be found globally, though more research still needs to be done in order to verify that. While it is wonderful that these insects can pray in Tongues, a species of insects that can interpret Tongues has yet to be discovered. In other news, the first Worldwide Charismatic Insect Conference is currently in the works, to be held at The Rosen Plaza Hotel in the Summer of 2017, where mosquitoes will be recognized as the shofars of the insect world.

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Why Are All My Messianic Friends Checking in at Standing Rock? Is There a Conference I Didn’t Know About?

Posted on by

standingrock

Murca – Why are all my Messianic friends checking in at Standing Rock on Facebook? Is there a conference that I didn’t know about? The short answer is yes. The long answer is this: The only thing Messianics love more than blowing shofars at inappropriate times is a good conference. But they’re always in the same locations. What about those of us who don’t live near Grantham or Orlando or Dallas or Irvine? What about the forgotten people of the movement who live in the Mountain Time Zone? Enter the new “Standing Rock of Our Salvation” Conference in North Dakota. Like Conference Conference, Standing Rock of Our Salvation will also be non partisan. Unlike any other conference, Standing Rock of Our Salvation is geared toward those who have never been or don’t usually go to Messianic conferences, due to location discrimination.

The Standing Rock of Our Salvation Conference will include workshops and seminars for Conference Newbies, including, but not limited to: Intro to Conferencing, What is a CC (Conference Crush)?, How close should I be to someone’s ear when I blow the shofar at them?, and Messianic Marketplace Metziahs (Deals). There will also be a panel discussion on the lack of Messianic conferences within the Northwestern Central and Mountain Time Zones. In addition, there will be workshops that will appeal to those who go to other conferences as well, such as a tzit tzit tying class, a class on how to care for curly hair, shadchen services, and a Messianic version of The Latke-Hamantash Debate.

The conference will be free to those who have never been to a Messianic conference before, half price to those who haven’t been to one in the last decade, and will cost an extra $2,000 for those who have been to 15 or more Messianic conferences within the last three years, though they will be able to get their punch cards punched here as well. Translation: The Conference Junkies will pick up your tab for this conference. Those who wish to attend Standing Rock of Our Salvation have also been asked to check in on Facebook to receive a free dessert with their Erev Shabbat Dinner. Conference attendees may check in remotely, at any point leading up to the conference, which will take place in August 2017. It will hopefully be an annual or, at least, bi-annual event, and worship is scheduled to be led by Lauryn Hill and Bob Dylan. I hope you’re standing, because this conference will be a rock for the ages.

 

Support the Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Messianic Kicked Out of Local Library After Sounding Shofar in Voting Booth

Posted on by

shofarabuse

Richmond, VA – Reports came in early this morning of a Messianic being forcibly removed from a local library after sounding his shofar in the voting booth, while trying to choose a candidate. 59 year old Glenn Ramshorn of Beit Shofarim Messianic Congregation walked into a voting booth with a three foot long shofar in tow and was heard to yell “THE KING IS COMING!!! THE KING IS COMING!!!! THIS COUNTRY IS IN DISARRAY!!! WE ARE LIVING IN THE END TIMES!!! REVELATION IS HAPPENING!!! TERUAH SHEVARIM” and immediately proceeded to sound his shofar repeatedly until authorities were called and removed Ramshorn from the library, where he was taken into police custody.

Says Ramshorn of his raucous escapade, “Did not the great Paul Wilbur say, ‘We will run, we will run to the mountain of God, we will sound the alarm, the election has come’? Yes, he did. That is our theme song at Beit Shofarim. Only we change the word ‘election’ to whatever sin is happening in the world: abortion, same-sex marriage, Lady Gaga, etc. There is nothing more appropriate to judge peoples’ wrong doing than by blowing shofars at them. It even says so in The Bible, I just can’t remember which verse now. But that’s why we go to Messiah Conference every year and call out people who don’t put money in their envelope for The Joseph Project. YOU ARE ALL WRONG. ALL OF YOU!”

Ramshorn is expected to serve 60 days and jail and pay a fine of $200 for two counts of Disorderly Conduct and Disturbing the Peace. Please remember to keep your voices down in the library and to never blow a shofar in or near someone’s ear and certainly not outside of high holiday services. That type of behavior really blows.

 

Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow