Survey

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Please take a few minutes to fill out this survey about The Meow and let us know what you think so far. Your responses are very important to the future of The Messianic Meow. Thank you!

Summer Long Cross Organizational Overnight Camp For Messianic Youth Coming Soon

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Murca – Breaking news today, announced by The Messianic Times: An all summer long Messianic youth summer camp is coming soon. The new camp will be a joint effort between the UMJC, MJAA, Jews for Jesus, and Chosen People Ministries. Rather than send your child one week here or one week there, finally all Messianic children will be able to attend camp together, and not just for one or two weeks at a time.

The camp will be called Camp Hitlakdut, which is Hebrew for “cohesion” and will be available to campers ages 8-15, with the junior counselor program starting at 16. The four largest Messianic Jewish organizations came together and purchased nearly 400 acres of land in Pennsylvania and hope to have the camp up and running by Summer 2018. Camp Hitlakdut will be nine weeks long and will include two five week sessions that overlap one week in the middle. Each session will include four weeks of camp activities plus The YMJA conference for campers ages 13 and up. Campers under 13 will enjoy a week of daily field trips during that time. Parents can choose to send to children to one or both sessions, with a discount for attending both, as well as for sending multiple children.

Hitlakdut will draw from activities and traditions from Camp Gilgal, Camp Kesher, and Camp Or L’Dor, with new activities and traditions that every Messianic child can make together with this new program. Activities will include weekly Erev and Shacharit Shabbat services, Havdalah, and Hebrew and Israeli Dance classes, in addition to regular camp activities, such as boating, swimming, and finding your first relationship.

“Basically all of the camp directors got together and realized we could do a lot more than what we’re doing if we just pool our resources,” Former Camp Gilgal Director, Moose Garrett, explained in an interview. “We not only have the staffing to make a nine week camp happen, but between all the organizations, we actually had enough money to purchase our own property. It just makes sense. There are so many Messianic youth, we may as well just send them all together. If we want to unify the Messianic movement, the best way to do that is to teach them while they’re young. Plus, honestly, the matchmaking is a lot easier when they don’t have a lot of life experience.”

Camp Hitlakdut will cost more than the previous existing Messianic summer camps that were only 1-2 weeks each, but plenty of scholarships will be available, and, with their own property, Hitlakdut will be able to rent out their facilities to other groups throughout the year to offset some of the costs. Early bird registration should be open by the end of 2017, so start saving your Shekels now; their goal is to have 500 children registered to attend the first summer.

Support The Meow!

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Dear fans of The Messianic Meow:
I first want to tell you how grateful I am for the support you have all shown me throughout the last three months. When I started this, I had absolutely no idea what to expect, and certainly did not think I would have 630 page likes this early on or that The Messianic Times would be publishing my articles.
I published the first Messianic Meow article on July 25th. On July 29th I found out my position at work had been eliminated. My first thought was “Is this a sign I’m just supposed to be focusing on The Meow?” I’ve been praying about it for three months and have finally decided to jump off the cliff and do this full time. The thing is, I need your help.
Doing The Meow full time means I can continue making funnies, because I don’t have to worry about working 40+ hours a week at a job I hate or continue looking for a job I hate when nothing is working out. This means I have time to use more of my ideas than just satire articles, including, but not limited to writing Purim spiels and other holiday plays that I can offer to congregations at no cost to them/you. This also means I’m available for speaking engagements. Has your congregation or conference ever had a Messianic comedian before?
I figured it out…if every single one of my Facebook fans is able to give just $10 a month, I’ll be in really good shape. At that point I would probably be able to pay people who submit articles as well.
I know what you’re thinking…great, someone else is asking me to donate money. But ask yourself this…do you enjoy The Messianic Meow? Does it make you laugh? Does it make you smile, chuckle, chortle, or guffaw? Do you like that there is a piece of pop culture that belongs solely to Messianics?
Please pray about supporting The Meow. I have set monthly amounts on the web site below, but those are just examples and you may type in any amount to donate, whether it’s $1 a month or $40 a month or $5,000,000 a month. Just follow the below link and click on the red “Become a patron” button near the top right corner of the page.
Prayers and sharing this post help me as well.
Again, thank you so much for your continued support.
Love, Meow.

UMJC Votes to Consider Gentiles Human Beings

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Los Angeles, CA – In a strange turn of events this week, The Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations called forth an emergency meeting to vote once and for all on an important subject matter than has plagued the Messianic movement since the beginning of time: are Gentiles actually human beings or did they, in fact, descend from monsters, as our ancestors foretold?

“You know what? I’m real sick of the way Gentiles are treated in this movement!” Said former UMJC President, Rabbi Kirk Gliebe. “They only get half of a vote in the MJAA and no vote whatsoever in the YMJA. They can’t even work on the front lines of Jews for Jesus unless they’re married to a Jewish person. The UMJC is better than that! The MJAA doesn’t have to acknowledge Gentiles as humans, but we have to be the ones to set the example. We have to be a light. Monsters are people, too.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Rabbi Rich Nichol added. “Monsters have every bit of right to be here as real Jewish human beings do. Let’s stop making them drink out of separate Kiddish cups and remove the Monster mechitzas we all have in our congregations and let them be discriminated against by secular Jews and Christians for being part of the Messianic movement, like the rest of us! We’re all in this together and most of them actually work harder and contribute more to the Messianic movement than us Jews do. One of them even changed my flat tire last week so I didn’t have to call AAA!”

The vote to consider Gentiles human beings passed almost unanimously and Rich Nichol helped celebrate the victory by playing a jazz flute solo he called “The Monsters Won’t Hurt Me Because They’re on My Side.” Now we hope and pray the other organizations in the movement will read Ephesians 2:11-22 and just let everyone play together in the sandbox, as God intended. Unity is the answer. No wonder there are so many issues in the movement.

Head of Jews for Judaism Accidentally Discovers the 53rd Chapter of Isaiah

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Los Angeles, CA – In a strange, turn of events this week, the President of Jews for Judaism, David Rifkind, has discovered Isaiah 53. Jews for Judaism, an anti-missionary organization that was named after Jews for Jesus, has been trying to steer Jews away from Yeshua since 1985.

Jews around the world read the same Torah (The first five books of the Old Testament) and Haftorah (the other books in the Old Testament) portions during the same week everywhere. However, they skip from Isaiah 52 right to Isaiah 54, ignoring Isaiah 53 altogether. Most Jews have never even read Isaiah 53, which talks about qualities of the coming Messiah.

“It’s really incredible,” said Rifkind, in a recent Facebook post. “All these years I’ve been telling people there’s no proof in the Tanakh (Old Testament) that Jesus is The Messiah and here it is, right in front of my schnoz! I didn’t even know there was an Isaiah 53! I thought it was like high rise buildings that don’t have a 13th floor…they just don’t have one and you don’t know why, but you don’t question it either. You just accept it and move on with your day. Oddly enough, I was reading my Tanakh this week while eating a greasy breakfast burrito and the book slipped out of my hand and fell on the floor, face up, opened to Isaiah 53. I couldn’t believe it! When I asked my wife about it she also had no idea there was a 53rd chapter of Isaiah! Like me, she also thought it was like the 13th floor of a high rise building. I immediately went to The Googles to see if anyone else knew there was an Isaiah 53. Sure enough, there are some people aware of Isaiah 53…my old nemeses Jews for Jesus, in fact. I stumbled upon this article that explains Isaiah 53 and now I need to quit my job. Oy gevalt! If anybody wants to hire a nice Jewish boy who is sometimes wrong, but now sees the truth, let me know!”

Rifkind has since left his job and is currently looking for a new career. He is in talks with Jews for Jesus to come on staff, which would make him a counter-counter-missionary.

Sesame Workshop to Begin Production on New Messianic Jewish Version of Sesame Street “Tahini Street”

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New York City, NY – Sesame Workshop announced this week it will begin production on its 40th co-production, which will be a Messianic Jewish incarnation called Tahini Street. Tahini Street will draw influence from both its Israeli and American Jewish counterparts, Rechov SumSum and Shalom Sesame, as well as American Messianic Jewish culture. Favorite characters appearing in the show will include Elmo, Moishe Oofnik, and Kippi Ben Kippod, as well as newcomer native Chicagoan Muppets Goldie and Shlomo, and humans, such as Azee the Clown and The Great Benafuchi. Topics covered on the show will include eating, laughing, matchmaking, and conferencing. Special guests that have signed on to appear so far are Joel Chernoff, Stuart Dauermann, Jonathan Cahn, and Susan Perlman.

Some Hebrew lessons will be included, however they will only be transliterated into English, rather than shown with the characters of the Alef-Bet, and will be taught using a flannelgraph. Messianic dancing will also be demonstrated on the show and performed to classic songs such as “Rubber Ducky Lai Lai Lai” and “C is for Challah.” Proper shofar etiquette will be stressed throughout the season, in addition to lessons on what it means to have a Jewish heart and why it’s okay for gentiles to attend and fully participate in a Messianic congregation.

Tahini Street will be available as an app for both iPad/iPhone and Android, so children can watch during screen time. The show will be funded as a joint effort between MJAA, UMJC, JFJ, CPM, JVMI, TLV, and The Messianic Times. Please consider donating to one of these fine organizations to keep Tahini Street in production.

Nate Benjamin Declared National Treasure, Asked to Tour With Hillsong United

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New York City, NY – The Contemporary Christian worship band, Hillsong United, announced a brand new upcoming tour with special guest Messianic recording artist, Nate Benjamin. The announcement comes just two months after the band released the album “Of Dirt and Grace: Live from the Land,” which was recorded live in Israel, leading Christian fans to wonder where the direction of the band is headed.

“We recently just found out that Jesus is actually Jewish,” said band member and lead Pastor of Hillsong NYC, Joel Houston. “If that’s the case, then His people should be our people and His traditions should be our traditions. Nate shows up to Hillsong NYC from time to time. We heard he has a ‘spiritual crush’ on us and that he’s a Messianic Jewish recording artist, which is cool. I looked him up and listened to his Sacrifice of Worship EP and it’s really tight. He has a great sound. Easy on the eyes too. In fact, I’d even venture to say he’s a national treasure. But then again, I’m from Australia, so what do I know? Anyway, we’re doing a tour of songs from ‘Dirt and Grace’ so having a Jewish person open for us on this tour is perfect. The whole tour is gonna be Jew stuff. I don’t really know what our fans are going to think of all this, but we’re not doing this for them; we’re doing this for Jesus. Yeshua. That’s his Hebrew name: Yeshua.”

The new tour which will be titled ‘Ruth and Boaz’ is set to launch sometime around Christmas, with stops across The U.S. and Canada. Please visit natebenjamin.com or hillsong.com/united for more information, as well as some amazing music.