Alternative Uses of Tallises for the Disrespectful

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Are you tired of wearing your tallit as a prayer shawl? Feel like you spent too much money on something that has only one use? Not to worry! We, at The Messianic Meow, have compiled a list of ways to disrespectfully get multiple uses out of your favorite holy garment! Mix and match as you please!

 

•Use it as a tablecloth

•Wear it as a scarf

•Use it as swaddling clothes for your newborn

•Wave it like a flag during worship

•Wear it as a turban

•Use it as a sarong at the beach

•Use it as a dish towel

•Use it as a blindfold during games at your child’s birthday party

•Cut into pieces to be used as napkins and placemats at fancy dinner parties

•Hang the fringes in your doorway for people to walk through

•Use it as a smock when you paint (bonus tip: you can paint the tallit itself to make it more decorative!)

•Use it as a bathmat

•Replace your sheets with it

•Use it to cover your couch to keep pet hair from getting all over it

•Cooking pasta sauce? Use it as an apron to prevent your clothes from getting stained!

•Use it to fan out the flames on your Havdalah candle when you run out of grape juice

•Have a side gig as a matador? Use it to taunt the bulls!

•Use it as a tourniquet to prevent someone from bleeding out

•Two words: cloth diaper

•Use it to replace the torn sails on your boat

•Use it in lieu of curtains in your living room, then later take them down to be made into play clothes for your children to frolic in the Austrian countryside

 

 

And don’t worry if you’ve actually done any of these things; Yom Kippur will be here before you know it!

 

 

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