Tree of Life Version Bible Changes Name to The Real Complete Jewish Bible

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Rome, GA – Big news out of Rome, GA this week as The Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society announced this week that the Tree of Life Version Bible (TLV) would officially be changing its name to The Real Complete Jewish Bible (RCJB). Just three days after announcing the release of the new Tree of Life Family Bible, the new name change comes as sort of a shock, and also sort of not.

“As far as we know, we’re the first official Messianic Jewish translation of The Bible,” Daniah Greenberg, President and CEO of The Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society, said in an early Monday morning press conference. “Calling it the Tree of Life Version Bible doesn’t really tell people what our translation stands for, whereas ‘The Real Complete Jewish Bible’ lets everyone know…this is a Jewish translation. This is not a translation where The Messiah is called Jesus Christ and this is not a translation where 1st and 2nd Chronicles come before Isaiah. Besides, what is ‘TLV?’ That’s not a bible translation, that’s an airport code! RCJB will be much more widely recognized as a Messianic Jewish biblical translation than TLV is, though I can’t figure out why.”

The Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society plans to liquidate their inventory of bibles with the old name and start producing bibles with the new name in early 2017. For more information on how to purchase the TLV or the RCJB please visit treeoflifeversion.com or familybiblesociety.org

Jeff Seif Gets Knighted, Becomes Sir Officer Rabbi Dr. Professor Seif

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Dallas, TX – On a recent trip to Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament, Rabbi Dr. Jeffrey Seif participated in a knighting ceremony, in which he was dubbed “Sir Jeffrey of Multiple Talents and Professions.” Seif, who is also an active Police Officer and a Professor at Kings University, somehow still has time in his life to enjoy dinner and a show.

“So I lead a congregation, teach, fight crime, save lives, coordinate bible translations, speak at every single convention, conference, and retreat I’m asked, and sometimes I like to joust. Nu?” Seif was heard to say. “Sleep? Never heard of it! Really, at this point, I’m just trying to collect titles. I like to stand out from the crowd. Besides, I kind of like the idea of a Rabbi in shining armor!”

Self’s future plans include law school and a certificate in accounting, but for now he said he just wants to focus on molding the minds of the future titleholders of tomorrow. His wife, Barri, also asked that she now be addressed as Dr. Mrs. Sir Officer Rabbi Dr. Professor Seif.

United States to Switch to Biblical Measuring System

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Washington DC – The United States Department of Education announced this week it would be changing their current measuring system, in order to keep up with the demands of what other countries want for them.

At present time, The U.S. is the only industrialized country that does not use the metric system. For years other countries have been asking that they change their measuring system to make it less frustrating for travelers. In an effort to comply, and also to prove that The U.S. is above all other countries, Secretary of Education, John King Jr, said their current measuring system will soon be replaced by something that is a little more established, opting for a system of biblical proportions. Schools will begin teaching the new biblical measuring system to kindergartners, starting with the 2016-2017 school year.

The inch, the foot, the yard, and the mile will soon be replaced with the cubit, the epha, the furlong, and the camel nap. The new units of measurement should be the perfect companions for common core math.