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Category Archives: MJAA
Joel Chernoff’s “Jew and Gentile” Deemed Culturally, Historically, and/or Aesthetically Important by Library of Congress…
Washington DC – Joel Chernoff’s iconic song “Jew and Gentile” has been deemed culturally, historically, and/or aesthetically important by the Library of Congress. This is the first time in history any Messianic anything has achieved such an accomplishment.
The Librarian of Congress was quoted as saying, “Ya know, in a time where this country hasn’t been more divided politically since the Civil War, it’s nice to hear songs about people from different backgrounds: Jews and Gentiles, Democrats and Republicans—-coming together, in unity, to make olive oil.”
Various opinions from those on the selecting committee praised how the song’s lyrics so accurately described contemporary American viewpoints regarding the upcoming election.
Harold Rosenplaza, head of the committee, stated, “Specifically, the lyrics ‘Help us Father’ and ‘Dadadee dadadoo, dadadai dadadee, dadoododo’ brought me to tears as I was lighting my Sabbath candles.”
Joel Chernoff has not yet commented on this prestigious award. However, his secretary did mention that he was so honored about receiving the award that he now feels called back to music and has even begun production on two new albums: a collaboration album with Ted Pearce slated to be titled “Jew and Gentile” (in honor of the acclaimed song) and a joyous club zinger called “Dance With Me.”
Congrats Joel!
Messianic Synagogue Starts Bi-Organizational Pride Group
Denver, CO – Being an active member of the Messianic Movement has enough challenges on its own when you blend in with the crowd, but some congregations have found they can’t live with themselves if they pretend like they only belong with UMJC or only belong with the MJAA. Some congregations, like Beth Yeshua, in Denver, have recognized that they need to go against the grain of Messianic society and be part of both of the main Messianic congregational organizations, lest they miss out on being true to themselves.
“There’s definitely a lot of pressure to commit to just one organization,” Congregational Rabbi Chaim Weitz explained, “But we identify with both the MJAA and the UMJC. I know there are other congregations that feel the same way, but are afraid to admit it, so I’ve started this group to support the other congregations that want to be part of both the MJAA and the UMJC and hope they’ll be able to admit to themselves that they go both ways. And it’s okay. As Messianic Jews we are constantly straddling two worlds: being Jewish and believing in Jesus. You throw in being part of both the MJAA and the UMJC to the mix and oy gevalt, you know? Your world of like minded individuals just gets even smaller. We, at Beth Yeshua, are openly bi-organizational and very proud. It’s a shame there aren’t more congregations that feel the same way. Maybe if there were, I wouldn’t have to choose between the IAMCS [MJAA] Rabbi’s conference and the UMJC Rabbi’s conference. Stop hiding your true feelings; don’t worry what other people are going to think about you if you join both organizations. God still loves you anyway. In fact, He probably loves you more if you do.”
Mazel Tov, Rabbi Weitz, on being so open and in touch with your true feelings and not pandering to societal norms. We hope this will open the door for other congregations to follow in your footsteps and come out as bi-organizational. And why not be part of both organizations anyway? They do share a Facebook profile, after all.
Summer Long Cross Organizational Overnight Camp For Messianic Youth Coming Soon
Murca – Breaking news today, announced by The Messianic Times: An all summer long Messianic youth summer camp is coming soon. The new camp will be a joint effort between the UMJC, MJAA, Jews for Jesus, and Chosen People Ministries. Rather than send your child one week here or one week there, finally all Messianic children will be able to attend camp together, and not just for one or two weeks at a time.
The camp will be called Camp Hitlakdut, which is Hebrew for “cohesion” and will be available to campers ages 8-15, with the junior counselor program starting at 16. The four largest Messianic Jewish organizations came together and purchased nearly 400 acres of land in Pennsylvania and hope to have the camp up and running by Summer 2018. Camp Hitlakdut will be nine weeks long and will include two five week sessions that overlap one week in the middle. Each session will include four weeks of camp activities plus The YMJA conference for campers ages 13 and up. Campers under 13 will enjoy a week of daily field trips during that time. Parents can choose to send to children to one or both sessions, with a discount for attending both, as well as for sending multiple children.
Hitlakdut will draw from activities and traditions from Camp Gilgal, Camp Kesher, and Camp Or L’Dor, with new activities and traditions that every Messianic child can make together with this new program. Activities will include weekly Erev and Shacharit Shabbat services, Havdalah, and Hebrew and Israeli Dance classes, in addition to regular camp activities, such as boating, swimming, and finding your first relationship.
“Basically all of the camp directors got together and realized we could do a lot more than what we’re doing if we just pool our resources,” Former Camp Gilgal Director, Moose Garrett, explained in an interview. “We not only have the staffing to make a nine week camp happen, but between all the organizations, we actually had enough money to purchase our own property. It just makes sense. There are so many Messianic youth, we may as well just send them all together. If we want to unify the Messianic movement, the best way to do that is to teach them while they’re young. Plus, honestly, the matchmaking is a lot easier when they don’t have a lot of life experience.”
Camp Hitlakdut will cost more than the previous existing Messianic summer camps that were only 1-2 weeks each, but plenty of scholarships will be available, and, with their own property, Hitlakdut will be able to rent out their facilities to other groups throughout the year to offset some of the costs. Early bird registration should be open by the end of 2017, so start saving your Shekels now; their goal is to have 500 children registered to attend the first summer.
Support The Meow!
Dear fans of The Messianic Meow:
I first want to tell you how grateful I am for the support you have all shown me throughout the last three months. When I started this, I had absolutely no idea what to expect, and certainly did not think I would have 630 page likes this early on or that The Messianic Times would be publishing my articles.
I published the first Messianic Meow article on July 25th. On July 29th I found out my position at work had been eliminated. My first thought was “Is this a sign I’m just supposed to be focusing on The Meow?” I’ve been praying about it for three months and have finally decided to jump off the cliff and do this full time. The thing is, I need your help.
Doing The Meow full time means I can continue making funnies, because I don’t have to worry about working 40+ hours a week at a job I hate or continue looking for a job I hate when nothing is working out. This means I have time to use more of my ideas than just satire articles, including, but not limited to writing Purim spiels and other holiday plays that I can offer to congregations at no cost to them/you. This also means I’m available for speaking engagements. Has your congregation or conference ever had a Messianic comedian before?
I figured it out…if every single one of my Facebook fans is able to give just $10 a month, I’ll be in really good shape. At that point I would probably be able to pay people who submit articles as well.
I know what you’re thinking…great, someone else is asking me to donate money. But ask yourself this…do you enjoy The Messianic Meow? Does it make you laugh? Does it make you smile, chuckle, chortle, or guffaw? Do you like that there is a piece of pop culture that belongs solely to Messianics?
Please pray about supporting The Meow. I have set monthly amounts on the web site below, but those are just examples and you may type in any amount to donate, whether it’s $1 a month or $40 a month or $5,000,000 a month. Just follow the below link and click on the red “Become a patron” button near the top right corner of the page.
Prayers and sharing this post help me as well.
Again, thank you so much for your continued support.
Love, Meow.
Guest Post by Rabbi Dr. Stuart Dauermann | Back to the Future, and It *IS* a Shock!
Dr. Emmett Brown and Marty McFly of “Back to the Future” fame are currently recuperating at an undisclosed location from what they term “mega future shock.” It seems that Brown and McFly, in their most recent adventure, visited a combined MJAA/UMJC Conference in New America city, Bernisopolis, “in the mid-distant future.” Brown said they were stunned to discover something for which no one could have been adequately prepared.
“They were all Jews!” screamed McFly, still unable to digest what he had seen. “All of them, except for some intermarrieds; they were all Jews!” At this point he became so agitated his nurse had to increase the sedatives in his drip.
Brown continued, “We never expected to encounter such a movement in crisis. The problem is that many Jews are coming to believe in Yeshua, and the movement just can’t turn them away. Everyone is getting disoriented!”
In their excursion into the future, Brown and McFly talked with Tambourina Fruma Lopez-MacGillicuddy, who is leading a protest movement, “G.U.B.G.O.D.” “Give Us Back the Good Old Days,” which insists on amending the constitutions of the Union and the Alliance to have an 85 percent Gentile, 15 percent Jewish demographic balance, “like the good old days.”
Speaking to reporters at a recent protest, she put aside her bullhorn, shouting over the crowd noises of blowing shofars and Paul Wilbur V recordings, “I mean, O.K., for a long time we’ve known it’s the Messianic Jewish Alliance, and the Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations, but let’s get real here! Everyone knew that what we meant by Jewish was Jewish-style. But this is ridiculous! We’re overrun with Jews, and the attendance at our Davidic dance classes is disappearing!”
Asked if they plan to have a press conference giving further details, Brown and McFly wouldn’t say. “We’re sick of heart, and really confused. Now we’ve told you. But beyond this, it would be too dangerous to say more.”
We here at the Messianic Meow will keep you posted of further developments as, and if, they become known to us.
UMJC Votes to Consider Gentiles Human Beings
Los Angeles, CA – In a strange turn of events this week, The Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations called forth an emergency meeting to vote once and for all on an important subject matter than has plagued the Messianic movement since the beginning of time: are Gentiles actually human beings or did they, in fact, descend from monsters, as our ancestors foretold?
“You know what? I’m real sick of the way Gentiles are treated in this movement!” Said former UMJC President, Rabbi Kirk Gliebe. “They only get half of a vote in the MJAA and no vote whatsoever in the YMJA. They can’t even work on the front lines of Jews for Jesus unless they’re married to a Jewish person. The UMJC is better than that! The MJAA doesn’t have to acknowledge Gentiles as humans, but we have to be the ones to set the example. We have to be a light. Monsters are people, too.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Rabbi Rich Nichol added. “Monsters have every bit of right to be here as real Jewish human beings do. Let’s stop making them drink out of separate Kiddish cups and remove the Monster mechitzas we all have in our congregations and let them be discriminated against by secular Jews and Christians for being part of the Messianic movement, like the rest of us! We’re all in this together and most of them actually work harder and contribute more to the Messianic movement than us Jews do. One of them even changed my flat tire last week so I didn’t have to call AAA!”
The vote to consider Gentiles human beings passed almost unanimously and Rich Nichol helped celebrate the victory by playing a jazz flute solo he called “The Monsters Won’t Hurt Me Because They’re on My Side.” Now we hope and pray the other organizations in the movement will read Ephesians 2:11-22 and just let everyone play together in the sandbox, as God intended. Unity is the answer. No wonder there are so many issues in the movement.
Who Was Beth Messiah and Why Are So Many Messianic Congregations Named After Her?
Born Beth Hallel in 1922 in Brooklyn, New York, to Russian-Jewish Immigrants turned Vaudeville performers, Keren Ohr and Hillel Hallel, Beth Messiah was raised in a one bedroom apartment with nine siblings. Though her life started with humble beginnings, she would go on to become someone who is often hailed as “The Chuck Norris of Messianic Judaism.”
Beth Messiah led an epic life with events that ranged from leading Joel Chernoff’s parents to The Lord, to riding the Loch Ness Monster barebacked, to jump roping across the United States in a matter of three days, to planting what is now the largest Messianic Congregation in the world.
Beth Messiah met her husband, Walter Messiah, while grooming rabid bears in Alaska and the two would later head the committee to unify the MJAA and the UMJC. Sadly, they did not succeed, but the effort was still there.
Beth Messiah passed away in 1989 after being eaten by a bear, but her legacy lives on in the names of countless Messianic congregations throughout the United States. Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Rest in peace, Beth Messiah. We couldn’t bear to not let your memory be for a blessing.
Greater Messianic Community Asks That Everyone Please Change Their Last Name to Adler
Murca – The greater Messianic community has issued a statement sent to all Messianic congregations in America asking that everyone who identifies as Messianic please change their last name to Adler. Representatives from all major Messianic organizations came together this week to discuss the future of Messianic Judaism and how we can greater impact the world. A decision was made that we need to be set apart from everyone else and the best way to do that is to unite with a common last name so that everyone knows we are together. A study put out by the MJAA and the UMJC has shown that the most common last name in Messianic Judaism is Adler; more Messianics either already have the last name, Adler, or are related to someone who does. Choosing Adler as the common last name means less people will have to change their name.
“Yeah I’m part of the Adler clan, but not everyone realizes that, because my last name is Walters,” stated Messianic community member Joshua Isaac Walters. “It’s really hard to go to a Messianic conference and pull the ‘Do you know who I am?’ card when my last name isn’t even recognized as being Messianic. And my Father-in-law is a Messianic Rabbi, but he has a different last name entirely. It’s just hard, sometimes, to be taken seriously in this movement when you’re not a Chernoff or a Rosenberg or an Adler. I agree with this decision 100%.”
While not a requirement to be Messianic, going through life with the same last name as all your Messianic mishpocha will certainly make things easier. And as Yeshua said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have the same last name.” Or something like that.
***Rabbi Jeff Adler suffered a heart attack this past May and is working hard to recover. Please consider donating to help him with his medical bills and expenses gofundme.com/rabbijeff
True Life: I’m a Conference Junkie
Conferences are a common occurrence in the Messianic movement and a great way to connect with other Messianics around the world, but what if you scheduled your entire life around them? On this episode of True Life, you’ll meet three young people who are struggling to balance real life while attending as many Messianic conferences as they can.
Stephanie Escalante, “21,” from Tampa, FL admits she is a conference junkie, but sees nothing wrong with it. She has attended everything from Messiah Conference to the UMJC international and 20s conferences to ARCH Leadership summit to AMF and everything in between. She even started a Twitter account dedicated to conference crushes. She is so addicted to attending conferences that The Messianic Meow wrote an article about her planning a fake conference and then she actually started planning it. “Even though I’m only ’21,’ I’ve been to enough conferences to know how to plan one. I don’t need help from anyone. I’ve got this. It’s my conference now.”
Amy Liantonio, 30, from Philadelphia, PA says she once went to three conferences in a month, all at the Rosen Plaza Hotel. She has made it her life’s goal to attend every conference at The Rosen, which could be as many as six per year. She is helping Stephanie plan the fake conference.
Vlad Horol, 27, from Chicago, IL considers himself now to be a recovering conference junkie. “I love conferences so much, that I became the UMJC Young Adult Liaison (YAL) as an excuse to attend conferences,” stated Horol. “But I’m married now and my wife, Rachel, told me it was unnecessary for me to attend so many conferences. As part of the recovery process, I stepped down as the YAL earlier this year and will try to limit my conferencing to two conferences per year.” “He’s fine,” Rachel chimed in. “Two conferences per year is more than enough. He’s just going to stick to our photography business, Yofi Photography, and he’ll be fine.”
There’s more to life than attending a conference every other month. If you or a friend spend all your time and money on Messianic conferences, please do not be afraid to ask for emotional support. The Messianic Meow is here for you.
UPDATE: We’ve just received word from AMF that they are not actually a conference, therefore Stephanie Escalante’s conference resume cannot include AMF.
messianiccomedy.com 