Category Archives: Entertainment

Azee the Clown Terrorizes School Children With Shouts of Encouragement

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Toronto, ON – It’s a strange time for clowns in the English speaking part of the world right now. More and more “creepy clown sightings” have been reported, as people across the globe are showing up in public places dressed as clowns and brandishing weapons, in an attempt to frighten the locals. While this is meant to be some elaborate prank, most likely leading up to Halloween, what is actually happening is that real clowns are being given a bad rap. Soon they may no longer be able to entertain children, as they may only associate clowns with being scary, as opposed to being whimsical, as they were intended to be.

Popular Messianic clown, Azee the Clown, is one of the good clowns affected by the recent shenanigans. “We’re living in a time where clowns are even less respected than police officers right now,” said Aaron Zaretsky, Azee’s alter ego. “I want to show children that clowns are still their friends, so I’ve been going to schools during recess and shouting things like ‘Jesus loves you!’ and ‘You can be anything you want when you grow up!’ I know it’s working, because every child I’ve come into contact with has run away screaming with joy. I’ve made them all so happy. That’s how you know you’re making a difference.”

Azee leads the organization, Touching Hearts Ministry, and appears at Messianic gatherings, such as Messiah Conference and Jews for Jesus Ingathering, where he uses clowning techniques to teach The Gospel to children. For more information about Azee’s ministry, please visit www.touchingheartsministry.ca

Rabbi Jason Sobel to Host New Mini Reality Series “My Super Sweet Celebrity Sukkah”

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Los Angeles, CA – MTV announced this week it would be airing a new mini reality series called “My Super Sweet Celebrity Sukkah,” in conjunction with the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. Sukkot is also known as The Feast of Tabernacles and many Jews build temporary booths in their backyards to represent the dwellings the Israelites slept in during their 40 year journey through the desert after the Exodus from slavery in Egypt.

The new show will be hosted by Rabbi Jason Sobel of Ruach L.A. and will be a seven part mini series that will air every night between October 16th and October 22nd on MTV and the MTV app. The series will be a half hour long and will feature two celebrity sukkahs per episode, as well as color commentary by Shae Wilbur of EXTRA. The show will be reminiscent of the defunct TV show MTV Cribs where celebrities gave tours of their mansions.

“The latest trend in Hollywood right now is for celebrities to build elaborate Sukkahs in their backyards, even if they’re not Jewish,” Sobel explained. “I want to believe it’s because there are so many Jewish people involved in Hollywood, but I really think it’s just because they think it’s trendy. Probably mostly because it was started by Madonna and Paris Hilton. Even so, it’s drawing attention to an important biblical holiday, and if we can use a trend to educate the public on Sukkot, then it’s still a win.”

The series was filmed during Sukkot in 2015 and will bring us to the backyards of homes of Madonna, Paris Hilton, Justin Bieber, Jerry Seinfeld, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and Jimmy Fallon, among others. You can watch My Super Sweet Celebrity Sukkah starting this Sunday night on both MTV and The Ruach LA web site. You will lulav it.

Restoration Seattle Will Be Absorbed by Fourth Yeshualand Location

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Seattle, WA – Jonathan Bernis, President and CEO of Jewish Voice Ministries International, announced this week the fourth Yeshualand theme park will be opening just outside of Seattle, in an undisclosed location. Yeshualand Seattle will be joining the rapidly expanding chain, following Yeshualand Ethiopia, Yeshualand Arizona, and Yeshualand Moon. Yeshualand Seattle will be unique in that it will be absorbing local Messianic congregation, Restoration Seattle.

“Changing the name of a congregation goes against everything I believe in,” Rabbi Matt Rosenberg posted on Facebook, “but J. Bern convinced me it was the right thing to do…for the good of all the tourists in Seattle. What better way to win hearts for Yeshua than to actually have a Shabbat service for people who are just hanging out at a theme park? It’s actually pretty awesome. Can’t argue with The Bern. #YeshualandSeattle #Seattle #happyrabbi #jvmi #TheBern #RestorationApp #donotfear #themepark #awesome #rollercoasters #cantwait #soexcited #thiswillbeawesome #soawesome #awesome”

In addition to a synagogue in the middle of it, Yeshualand Seattle will have similar attractions to its Ethiopia and Arizona counterparts, but will also have four Whirlyball courts, a funicular, and ironically, a Restoration Hardware that will pay homage to the soon to be former Restoration Seattle. The whole theme park will be made in a retractable dome, so that rain, snow, and other elements will not affect the park’s hours and allow Yeshualand Seattle to remain open year round. In addition, Yeshualand Seattle will have a show featuring The Rock-a fire Explosion: the animatronic band, formerly of Showbiz Pizza, which would later become Chuck E. Cheese’s. Rock-a fire Explosion will be programmed to perform the greatest hits of the classic Messianic band, Lamb. Yeshualand will also finally be introducing their first mascot; Joyful Joe Miterko will be walking around the park as “Mr. Yeshualand.”

Yeshualand Seattle is set to open early to mid 2017, and, according to Bernis, will most likely be the last location to open for quite a while. To track progress of Restoration’s transition into Yeshualand Seattle, please visit shalomseattle.com

Havdalah Spice Girls Release New Fragrance Ahead of Upcoming Album

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Nashville, TN – The Havdalah Spice Girls released a new fragrance this week to promote their upcoming album “Besamim.” The fragrance, which also bears the name “Besamim,” smells of cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg and comes in a bottle the shape of a Havdalah spice box. Besamim is the perfect scent when you want to smell like fall. The kind of fall that happens in Murca anyway.

“Move over pumpkin spice everything; Besamim is here!” Rebecca Rudolf, AKA Dancer Spice, said in an interview. “We were originally going to have a scent that was a combination of candle wax, fire, and grape juice, but we decided it would be better to just release a fragrance that shares a name with our album, which will be available soon on iTunes!”

The Havdalah Spice Girls are also in talks to release an entire line of fragrances, including “Sukkot Spice,” which will smell like lulav and etrog, and “Ashkenazi Spice,” which will smell like brisket and noodle kugel. Besamim, the fragrance, is available now at Neiman Marcus and Macy’s. Stay tuned for a release date on Besamim the album, and remember to purchase your tickets to see Misha Goetz, AKA Shy Spice, in the new hit Broadway musical “They Tried to Kill Us, We Won, Let’s Eat.”

Sesame Workshop to Begin Production on New Messianic Jewish Version of Sesame Street “Tahini Street”

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New York City, NY – Sesame Workshop announced this week it will begin production on its 40th co-production, which will be a Messianic Jewish incarnation called Tahini Street. Tahini Street will draw influence from both its Israeli and American Jewish counterparts, Rechov SumSum and Shalom Sesame, as well as American Messianic Jewish culture. Favorite characters appearing in the show will include Elmo, Moishe Oofnik, and Kippi Ben Kippod, as well as newcomer native Chicagoan Muppets Goldie and Shlomo, and humans, such as Azee the Clown and The Great Benafuchi. Topics covered on the show will include eating, laughing, matchmaking, and conferencing. Special guests that have signed on to appear so far are Joel Chernoff, Stuart Dauermann, Jonathan Cahn, and Susan Perlman.

Some Hebrew lessons will be included, however they will only be transliterated into English, rather than shown with the characters of the Alef-Bet, and will be taught using a flannelgraph. Messianic dancing will also be demonstrated on the show and performed to classic songs such as “Rubber Ducky Lai Lai Lai” and “C is for Challah.” Proper shofar etiquette will be stressed throughout the season, in addition to lessons on what it means to have a Jewish heart and why it’s okay for gentiles to attend and fully participate in a Messianic congregation.

Tahini Street will be available as an app for both iPad/iPhone and Android, so children can watch during screen time. The show will be funded as a joint effort between MJAA, UMJC, JFJ, CPM, JVMI, TLV, and The Messianic Times. Please consider donating to one of these fine organizations to keep Tahini Street in production.

Messianic Musicians Come Together to Record Song to Raise Funds for Repeated Droughts in Israel

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Murca – Nearly every recording artist in the Messianic movement has come together, in the style of live aid, to record a song to raise funds for the repeated droughts in Israel. In America, we pray for rain to stop, but in Israel they pray for it to start; perspective. The song “It Shall Rain Over All the Earth” was recorded over the course of two months and is expected to be released between Sukkot and Passover, when God causes the wind to blow and the rain to fall.

The cavalcade of Messianic stars includes the following artists: Corry Bell, Ted Pearce, Joel Chernoff, Paul Wilbur, Marty Goetz, Jamie H. of MIQEDEM, Shai Sol, Deborah Kline-Iatorno, Jeremiah & Hannah Zaretsky, Alumni from ‘Yeladim for Yeshua’ and ‘You Gotta Jump,’ former members of The Liberated Wailing Wall, former members of Blue Mosaic, The Havdalah Spice Girls (Beckah Shae, Sharon Wilbur, Misha Goetz, Elisha Chernoff, and Rebecca Rudolf), Nate Benjamin, Roman & Alaina, Jonathan Settel, Rabbi Jan Rosenberg, Matt Gliebe and Kimi Moore Padrick (NAVI), Isaac Faraco (How to Fly), Joshua Aaron, Dr Greg Silverman, Eric & Joanne Kragenbrink, Judah & Jennifer Morrison, Barry & Batya Segal, Kaily Teeter, and Margaret Alexander. There will also be a special rap verse by Hazakim, Jeremiah Kaufman, and Aviad Cohen.

The new single will be available on iTunes, mjaa.org, umjc.org, jewsforjesus.org, and jewishvoice.org for $10 and 100% of proceeds will go towards helping make it rain in Israel. The group calls themselves “It’s Raining Mensches” and hopes to be able to perform together at AMF 2.0.

Messianic Moon Colony Will Send Teams to the 2024 Olympics; Hopes to Host One Day

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Murca – The new Messianic Moon Colony, which was just announced publicly yesterday, is now saying they will have enough athletes to participate in the 2024 Summer Olympics and hope to host, themselves, one day. In light of the recent announcement, the colony seems very ambitious on what the future holds for them.

“We already know we have athletes that can compete in equestrian, weightlifting, water polo, softball, and surfing,” said colony representative Rabbi David Chernoff. “We’re going to just start with a few sports, and, as our colony gains momentum, we can start training kids when they’re young for various sports and eventually we’ll throw our yarmulkes in the ring to host someday. We certainly have plenty of acreage that we can build an arena on.”

The Moon colony will likely be competing against Israel in certain Olympic events, but they see it as a chance to get to know the Israeli athletes, start a relationship, and introduce them to Yeshua. They are also hoping that eating will one day be an Olympic sport; one they can truly excel at.

Messianic Jewish Colony to Open on the Moon

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Murca – A Messianic Jewish colony will open on Earth’s Moon sometime in the future. After announcements came from both Chosen People Ministries and Jonathan Bernis this week about Messianic activity on the Moon, it was time to make the news of the new Colony official. While this has been in the works for quite a while, it has been kept under wraps, due to licensing and privacy issues.

“We already use the Lunar Calendar in Judaism, so this actually makes perfect sense,” said Rabbi David Chernoff of Congregation Beth Yeshua (CBY) of Philadelphia. “CBY is large enough to be a self sustaining Kibbutz, so we are actually going to move our entire congregation to the Moon, when the time comes and extend an invitation to the greater Messianic community to join us as you see fit. We’re working closely with Aaron Trank and his former NASA colleagues to make this happen and are very excited for what the future holds with this new Messianic colony.”

Plans are already in place for the new Messianic Moon Colony to have a Yeshualand and will also be home to an exact replica of both Messiah College and The Rosen Plaza Hotel; anyone coming to Muchan 2020 will have their choice of staying in either place. In addition, Brews for Jesus plans to move their new headquarters to the Moon. Trank will Periscope the progress as soon as the project is far enough along that it can be made public. The new Messianic colony is expected to be crater than any other living situation for Messianics.

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Jonathan Bernis Confirms Second Yeshualand Location Will Be in Arizona

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Phoenix, AZ – After much speculation about the new Messianic Jewish theme park Yeshualand potentially opening a location near Phoenix, Jonathan Bernis, President and CEO of Jewish Voice Ministries International has confirmed that there will, in fact, be a Yeshualand location opening in Arizona, just in time for holiday vacations in December.

After months of searching, Bernis says they were finally able to secure nearly 400 acres of land about an hour outside of Phoenix. In addition to all the great features of Yeshualand Ethiopia, Yeshualand Arizona will have new rides and attractions, including The Mikveh Machine, a quicksand pit, The Jude and Jennifer Carousel-o, and a giant lego firewalk.

The theme park will also have extra stages and a campground in the hopes that AMF 2.0 will choose to hold their event there, as they can technically hold it in Arizona and still be called “AMF.” At the very least, Bernis hopes The Havdalah Spice Girls will have a residency at the park. Bernis said the campground will also be a haven for travelers during Sukkot, starting in 2017, and said those wishing to build their Sukkahs there will get a special discount, in addition to a Sukkah building contest and other fun activities specific to the holiday.

Additionally, there will also be a one of a kind bible themed McDonald’s that will offer such items as Jonah and the Filet-O-Fish, Adam’s McBeefRib, the McYeshua, and the Big Maccabee. Bernis believes that having The Golden Arches on premises will attract the annual Golden ARCH Leadership Summit to Arizona, rather than holding the event at the ever unpopular Rosen Plaza Hotel in Orlando.

Annual passes to Yeshualand Arizona will be available to the public starting in November and will start at $1800 per family up to six; quite a metziah! Stay tuned for more information about Yeshualand Arizona and other locations to come.