We Asked, You Answered: Messianic Judaism’s Favorite Hamantaschen Flavors

In conjunction with Dr. David Matzah of the Messianic Behavior Research Institute in Pennsylvania, The Messianic Meow sent out a survey to Messianic Congregations across the country asking for congregants’ favorite hamantaschen flavors. Now that all the Purim celebrations have concluded, we can share our findings with the public.

Screen Shot 2019-03-24 at 11.01.55 PM

“I can’t get enough of that Gefilte Fish hamantaschen. Sadly, there’s only one bakery, about an hour away, that carries it. Not as good as Bubbe used to make, but I’ll takes what I can gets.” – Morty Greenstock, Temple Aron HaKodesh, Lauderdale Lakes, FL

“Raspberry, blackberry, boysenberry, snozzberry. I’ll take any kind of berry. Except Barry Manilow. Just kidding, Barry; I love you so much!” – Rivkah Silverstein, City of David Messianic Synagogue, Thornhill, ON, CA

“The worst thing is when you think you are about to eat a delicious prune hamantaschen and you take a bite and it’s CHOCOLATE! Who the heck wants to eat a chocolate hamantaschen? Feh!” – Leah Goldenfarb, Devar Emet Messianic Synagogue, Skokie, IL

“I don’t care so much about the filling, as long as it’s non GMO, gluten free, organic, certified Kosher, dairy free, Whole 30, and has added Omega 3s in it.” – Shirley Liebowitz, Beth Emunah Messianic Synagogue, Agoura Hills, CA

“If you’ve never had poppyseed hamantaschen, then you probably care too much about how the darn thing tastes. Look, it’s not about the flavor, it’s about tradition. If you ask me, poppyseed hamantaschen is the only true hamantaschen. It’s in The Bible or something.” – Milton Friedstein, Shuvah Yisrael Messianic Synagogue, Plainview, NY.

“I’ve never met a hamantaschen I didn’t like, but if I had to choose, I’d say it doesn’t really matter, as long as I can dunk it in my cold press coffee.” – Harry Sapperstein, Beit Tikvah Messianic Congregation, Newcastle, WA

“Have you ever had a Nutella hamantaschen? Me neither, but I’d like to try one.” – Rachel Wellman, Tikvat Israel Messianic Synagogue, Richmond, VA

“I only bake my own hamantaschen. I do what any proper Southern Belle would do; I take a bushel of peaches and I marinate them in Coca Cola overnight, and then I soak them in sweet tea. Goes great with a side of sugar.” – Nancy Mendels, Beth Yeshua International, Macon, GA

“I really hope next year they move this holiday a lot further away from Girl Scout Cookie season; I’m trying to watch my figure.” – Debbie Lowman, Son of David Congregation, Silver Spring, MD

“Give me all the flavors. All of them. Every single one.” – Marvin Pinsky, Beth Messiah Congregation, Columbus, OH

 

 

Love The Meow? Click here to partner with us!

YMJA President Threatens Messianic Meow with IAMCS Investigation for Mocking Him

Ravi

Tampa, FL — In the wake of the President of the United States threatening Saturday Night Live with a federal investigation for mocking him, the President of the YMJA seems to have followed suit, and is now threatening popular Messianic satire site, The Messianic Meow, with a similar probe. Or as similar as you can get with an organization in such an obscure religion. Even so, one would hope this is just an empty threat, and possibly a cry for attention.

“The Messianic Meow started mocking me over two and half years ago, back when I was just the Treasurer,” said YMJA President, Ravi Goldberg, on a Twitter rant, early this morning. “That article still haunts me, to this day. I can’t get away from it. People ask me about it all the time. And then they laugh. Is that all I am to you people? Am I a clown? Am I?! Okay, maybe don’t answer that just yet. Anyway, I’ll make sure the IAMCS Steering Committee has a go at The Meow. It’s about time someone did…”

Goldberg is up for re-election this July. Some say this may just be a ploy to get his name out there, as it’s unusual for him to post on social media at all, let alone for him to launch into such a public diatribe. But, as they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

 

 

 

Donate to Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow

Alternative Uses of Tallises for the Disrespectful

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

 

Are you tired of wearing your tallit as a prayer shawl? Feel like you spent too much money on something that has only one use? Not to worry! We, at The Messianic Meow, have compiled a list of ways to disrespectfully get multiple uses out of your favorite holy garment! Mix and match as you please!

 

•Use it as a tablecloth

•Wear it as a scarf

•Use it as swaddling clothes for your newborn

•Wave it like a flag during worship

•Wear it as a turban

•Use it as a sarong at the beach

•Use it as a dish towel

•Use it as a blindfold during games at your child’s birthday party

•Cut into pieces to be used as napkins and placemats at fancy dinner parties

•Hang the fringes in your doorway for people to walk through

•Use it as a smock when you paint (bonus tip: you can paint the tallit itself to make it more decorative!)

•Use it as a bathmat

•Replace your sheets with it

•Use it to cover your couch to keep pet hair from getting all over it

•Cooking pasta sauce? Use it as an apron to prevent your clothes from getting stained!

•Use it to fan out the flames on your Havdalah candle when you run out of grape juice

•Have a side gig as a matador? Use it to taunt the bulls!

•Use it as a tourniquet to prevent someone from bleeding out

•Two words: cloth diaper

•Use it to replace the torn sails on your boat

•Use it in lieu of curtains in your living room, then later take them down to be made into play clothes for your children to frolic in the Austrian countryside

 

 

And don’t worry if you’ve actually done any of these things; Yom Kippur will be here before you know it!

 

 

Donate to Support The Meow: www.patreon.com/messianicmeow