Category Archives: Pop Culture

Jeff Seif Gets Knighted, Becomes Sir Officer Rabbi Dr. Professor Seif

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Dallas, TX – On a recent trip to Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament, Rabbi Dr. Jeffrey Seif participated in a knighting ceremony, in which he was dubbed “Sir Jeffrey of Multiple Talents and Professions.” Seif, who is also an active Police Officer and a Professor at Kings University, somehow still has time in his life to enjoy dinner and a show.

“So I lead a congregation, teach, fight crime, save lives, coordinate bible translations, speak at every single convention, conference, and retreat I’m asked, and sometimes I like to joust. Nu?” Seif was heard to say. “Sleep? Never heard of it! Really, at this point, I’m just trying to collect titles. I like to stand out from the crowd. Besides, I kind of like the idea of a Rabbi in shining armor!”

Self’s future plans include law school and a certificate in accounting, but for now he said he just wants to focus on molding the minds of the future titleholders of tomorrow. His wife, Barri, also asked that she now be addressed as Dr. Mrs. Sir Officer Rabbi Dr. Professor Seif.

Beckah Shae, Sharon Wilbur, Misha Goetz, Elisha Chernoff, and Rebecca Rudolf to Form First Ever All Female Messianic Pop Super Group “The Havdalah Spice Girls”

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Nashville, TN – It was announced this week that five of the leading female vocalists in Messianic Judaism would be joining together to form a new all female pop super group called “The Havdalah Spice Girls.” Beckah Shae, Sharon Wilbur, Misha Goetz, Elisha Chernoff, and Rebecca Rudolf have each seen individual success in their own way, but collectively decided they would be able to make a bigger statement by combining forces.

“The Messianic Music scene is very male dominated,” stated Chernoff. “We want to change that.  My Dad [Joel Chernoff] helped pave the way for Messianic music and Sharon [Wilbur, née Chernoff] and I were very blessed to grow up around that. Now we want to continue paving that way for women in the movement. We’ve had a lot of fun working together and have even given each other new nicknames: Beckah is Mama Spice, Sharon is Famous Spice, Misha is Shy Spice, Rebecca is Dancer Spice, and I’m Cute-as-a-button Spice!”

The Havdalah Spice Girls will incorporate singing, dancing choreogaphed by Rudolf, and lots of fashion tips for adoring fans. They are scheduled to perform at Messiah ’17 and AMF 2.0. Their first album “Besamim” will be available on iTunes later this year. You can also catch Misha in her Broadway debut this fall in the new musical “They Tried to Kill Us, We Won, Let’s Eat.”

Worship Band Accidentally Mistakes Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” for Old Liberated Wailing Wall Tune

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Irvine, CA – The worship band at Shuvah Yisrael played “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel last Shabbat. The song was played immediately after a classic Paul Wilbur song and brought the worship session to a screeching halt; what would normally be a sweet time to connect with The Lord was met with boos and a cacophony of angry shofar blowing by crestfallen congregants.

When asked why she chose this song, 23 year old worship leader, Kaily Teeter, said, “I honestly thought it was a Liberated Wailing Wall song from the 70s! The folkiness of the song and the lai lai lais—-what else could it possibly be? My boyfriend, Mark, and I are making an album where we bring life into old worship songs and I was just trying to get in touch with our ancestors that played on The Wall to help us prepare for recording the album. Normally my song choices are really well received, but I never even imagined a song with lai lai lai in it would be a secular song by Simon and…who?”

Some say it was an ill timed publicity stunt to help raise funds for Kaily’s upcoming album (www.indiegogo.com/projects/mark-and-kaily-are-making-an-album-music-help#/), while others just blame millennials for anything they possibly can. Nevertheless, Rabbi Larry Feldman said he would have counselors readily available to be a bridge over troubled water for anyone traumatized by this incident.

UMJC, MJAA Create Joint Facebook Account to Show Everyone How Much They Love Each Other

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Los Angeles, CA/Springfield, PA – The Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations and The Messianic Jewish Alliance of America have joined forces for a second time, this time on Facebook. The two largest governing bodies in Messianic Judaism AKA “rival gangs” have decided to turn over a new leaf and become one. The UMJC and MJAA have created a joint Facebook account under the name “UMJC-MJAA Yeshua.”

“We’ve each deleted our respective accounts and created this new one,” stated UMJC-MJAA Yeshua, via Facebook chat. “We just love each other so much and the best way to show that to the world is to just share a Facebook account. We all know only those who are secure in their relationships share a Facebook account, and, boy are we secure in this relationship! Plus, we have so many mutual friends and shared interests, it just makes sense; we both love Ted Pearce, we both love food, and we even share some of the same Rabbis. It’s actually kind of a waste of space to have separate accounts at this point. We’re no longer individual organizations, but now we’re one and the same. And we do plan to have some fun with this as well. You’ll never know which one of us you’re getting when you Facebook message us! Who am I—-UMJC or MJAA? Do I want to study Torah or pray in tongues? Do I want to smoke a cigar or eat some ice cream? Do I want to be in a band that shares a name with a farm animal or do I want to save a country in Africa? You’ll never know!”

The UMJC and MJAA ask that their loyal fans now only communicate with them through this joint Facebook account in order to promote unity. If you make donations to either organization, please forward your credit card info to the new account in order to continue donating.

Marty Goetz Pens New Broadway Musical “They Tried To Kill Us, We Won, Let’s Eat”

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Nashville, TN – Singer/Songwriter, Marty Goetz, who is often hailed as a Modern Day Psalmist, has written his first public musical. The new musical “They Tried To Kill Us, We Won, Let’s Eat,” will make its debut this fall. Goetz’s musical centers on a dysfunctional Jewish family in Ohio who is trying to sort out their faith as they eat their way through the Jewish holidays.

Songs include “How Many Egg Rolls Will You Eat Tonight?”, “Why Don’t Your Matzah Balls Float Like My Mother’s?”, “Chanukah Bush,” and “Cousin Mordechai is Coming to Town.” Goetz’s sure to be Tony Award winning songbook draws inspiration from Sondheim, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and Adolph Green.

Goetz’s daughter, Misha, stars as Hannah, the well meaning adult daughter and Mother of three, who can’t cook her way out of a paper bag. This lighthearted, yet thought-provoking show is sure to stir up all of your emotions. Join The Goldman Family for tears, laughter, and lots of Chinese take-out, as they stumble their way through the Hebrew calendar.

Pre-Broadway previews begin on September 18th at The Playhouse Square in Cleveland. Tickets are available through Ticketmaster and MartyGoetz.com

Yeshua Returns to Run for President of The United States

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Washington DC- Yeshua HaMashiach, more widely known as Jesus Christ, has finally returned to Earth after a wait of more than 2000 years. “I’ve been watching this entire upcoming American Presidential Election very closely, and with Donald Trump officially being given the GOP nomination, I knew I had to step in and do something; I’m throwing my Kippah in the ring,” Yeshua stated.

Mashiach, who is running on the ticket of the newly formed Chosen Party, held a rally in Washington DC for His supporters earlier this week. “I stand for life, I stand for love, I stand for hope, I stand for forgiveness, I stand for grace, I stand for redemption, and I stand for light. If you can get behind that then I’m your man.” His short, but very impactful speech was met with thunderous applause, while Ben and Jerry’s handed out samples of their newest creation, Christ on a Graham Cracker, to hungry, but hopeful citizens at the rally.

Yeshua seemed to be a shoo-in to be the next President, until it was pointed out that He does not actually qualify to run for the position, due to the fact that He is under 35 and was not born in The U.S.

When asked to comment on what His next move was going to be, Yeshua replied, in His best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, “I’ll be back.”

Netflix to Produce Reboot of The Flying House

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Los Gatos, CA-   Netflix announced this week it would produce a reboot of the 1980s animated Christian children’s series The Flying House.

When asked why The Flying House was chosen for the next Netflix Original Series, Chief Content Officer, Ted Sarandos, stated: “We are trying to reboot as many canceled TV shows as possible at this point, to basically tell the networks they can stick it in their ear. What better way to do that than by reviving an obscure Christian cartoon from 1982?”

In conjunction with Pixar, the new series will be a 3D computer animated series and will be only one season long so kids and adults alike can binge watch the same 20 episodes over and over and over again.