Category Archives: Social Media

Stuart Dauermann to Fast From Sarcasm for Yom Kippur

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Los Angeles, CA – Rabbi Stuart Dauermann announced this week he is planning to fast from sarcasm, in addition to food, for Yom Kippur this year. Yom Kippur, also known as The Day of Atonement, is one of the two holiest days on the Hebrew calendar, along with the Jewish new year, Rosh Hashanah. On Yom Kippur, Jews are commanded not to work, and fast from food and other pleasurable things, in order to atone for their sins. While a lot of Jews derive most of their earthly pleasures from food, others feel the same way about other things as well.

“When you fast from food on Yom Kippur every single year, sometimes it feels like it’s not enough,” said Dauermann in a YouTube video announcement. “The only thing I love more than food is my caustic wit, so fasting from sarcasm seemed like both the most logical and the hardest thing to do. Fasting is not supposed to be easy or routine. We’re atoning for our sins and we are to give up what we love in order to do so. Just as Jesus gave up being Jewish in order to start Christianity…or DID HE??? You’ll have to listen to my podcast, Toward a More Jewish Jesus, in order to find out!!”

Rabbi Dauermann is known throughout the Messianic community for his knowledge, his sarcasm, and the praise and worship songs he has written, that include lines like “I knew Jesus before he was a gentile.” We certainly wish him luck on cutting sarcasm out of his life for approximately 25 hours. Upon hearing the news of his upcoming fast, the trees of the field all clapped their hands.

Restoration Seattle Will Be Absorbed by Fourth Yeshualand Location

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Seattle, WA – Jonathan Bernis, President and CEO of Jewish Voice Ministries International, announced this week the fourth Yeshualand theme park will be opening just outside of Seattle, in an undisclosed location. Yeshualand Seattle will be joining the rapidly expanding chain, following Yeshualand Ethiopia, Yeshualand Arizona, and Yeshualand Moon. Yeshualand Seattle will be unique in that it will be absorbing local Messianic congregation, Restoration Seattle.

“Changing the name of a congregation goes against everything I believe in,” Rabbi Matt Rosenberg posted on Facebook, “but J. Bern convinced me it was the right thing to do…for the good of all the tourists in Seattle. What better way to win hearts for Yeshua than to actually have a Shabbat service for people who are just hanging out at a theme park? It’s actually pretty awesome. Can’t argue with The Bern. #YeshualandSeattle #Seattle #happyrabbi #jvmi #TheBern #RestorationApp #donotfear #themepark #awesome #rollercoasters #cantwait #soexcited #thiswillbeawesome #soawesome #awesome”

In addition to a synagogue in the middle of it, Yeshualand Seattle will have similar attractions to its Ethiopia and Arizona counterparts, but will also have four Whirlyball courts, a funicular, and ironically, a Restoration Hardware that will pay homage to the soon to be former Restoration Seattle. The whole theme park will be made in a retractable dome, so that rain, snow, and other elements will not affect the park’s hours and allow Yeshualand Seattle to remain open year round. In addition, Yeshualand Seattle will have a show featuring The Rock-a fire Explosion: the animatronic band, formerly of Showbiz Pizza, which would later become Chuck E. Cheese’s. Rock-a fire Explosion will be programmed to perform the greatest hits of the classic Messianic band, Lamb. Yeshualand will also finally be introducing their first mascot; Joyful Joe Miterko will be walking around the park as “Mr. Yeshualand.”

Yeshualand Seattle is set to open early to mid 2017, and, according to Bernis, will most likely be the last location to open for quite a while. To track progress of Restoration’s transition into Yeshualand Seattle, please visit shalomseattle.com

500 Likes on Facebook!

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Hi everyone! Six weeks ago today I posted my first article. Tonight we hit 500 page likes on Facebook!! I just want to thank everyone that has supported me through this left field idea I had, through your emotional support, your likes, comments, and shares. My primary love language is words of affirmation, so this means EVERYTHING to me that people like my work.

I am not a writer by nature and it is way out of my comfort zone to do so, so when I started I had no idea if I would be able to keep this up for more than a few articles and I certainly wasn’t expecting to start making memes or to get 500 page likes in six weeks.

My goal is to get to 1,000 fans and when we get there, we’re going to do something interactive and I’m going to give YOU guys a chance to make ME laugh. But, in order to get there, I need your help in sharing my page, my articles, and my memes with your friends.

And if you haven’t “liked” The Messianic Meow on Facebook please do so.

Thanks again. You guys are awesome!!! #500 🙂

Messianic Times Introduces New Affiliate Web Site Yeshuaslist.org

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Pensacola, FL – The Messianic Times had a special announcement this week as they prepare to release a new Messianic version of Craigslist. The classifieds web site is being rolled out just in time for the upcoming high holiday season, giving everyone a comprehensive list of all Messianic high holiday services nationwide.

“It’s necessary,” said Messianic Times Director, Rabbi Eric Tokajer. “People want to know what’s happening, not just in their own city, but in the greater Messianic community. What if someone wants to visit another city or even relocate? This will enable them to see what’s out there and maybe even find a new job, congregation, or a place to stay. Messianics want to connect with their friends across the globe and this is the most effective way to do that.”

The new web site will be set up similarly to Craigslist: it will be broken down by city/state, and it will have job postings, property rentals and sales, congregational events, and of course personals. While not every subcategory from Craigslist will appear on Yeshuaslist, such as “Casual Encounters,” Yeshuaslist will see new subcategories such as “Conference Crushes,” rendering the Twitter account Messianic_Crush obsolete.

Tokajer said that having this web site as its own entity and not just a page on messianictimes.com will garner more attention to both web sites, drawing a much larger audience to both mediums. Yeshuaslist.org will allow anyone to post ads and is expected to be a pillar in the realm of Messianic social networking. Sadly, the release date is still classified.

High School Student Comes to Faith After Finding Pokémon GO Gym at Local Messianic Congregation

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Prospect Heights, IL – 16 year old Jesse Hoffman wandered into a Pokémon GO Gym at Olive Tree Congregation in Prospect Heights, IL earlier this week and walked out with a new friend named Yeshua. The junior in high school says he was just trying to chase after a Charizard and wasn’t expecting to find The Messiah in the process.

Congregational Leader, Dan Strull, says, “Jesse came to Olive Tree to find a Char…what is it? Well anyway, he thought he was trying to win a game, but we are trying to win hearts for Yeshua and I think that’s what we have done here today. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you what the game is about, I just know we have droves of high school and college kids coming to a building they wouldn’t normally enter and they’re leaving with a new fire in their hearts that you can’t put a price on.”

Many churches and Messianic congregations across the country are adding Pokémon GO gyms and Pokéstops as an outreach to attract non believers who wouldn’t feel like they had a reason to be there otherwise. Hoffman says it was a great idea, because he was able to get his Charizard, as well as a Snorlax, a bunch of free food, his first bible, and a T-shirt that says, “I went to the Olive Tree Congregation Pokémon GO Gym and all I got was SAVED!”

For more information on what Jesus would do with a Pikachu, please visit your local Messianic Pokéstop or contact info@ymja.org

Uber to Start Delivering Bibles

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San Francisco, CA – The taxi alternative company, Uber, announced this week it would start delivering bibles to Atheists during their lunch breaks from work. What started as a service to transport people, more recently began transporting puppies and pizza as well. Now in a partnership with Kirk Cameron and Gideons International, Uber will be able to bring scripture to those in need.

“We want to make sure that everyone knows we’re more than just a transportation company; we’re an innovative 21st century company for the people!” Uber CEO, Travis Kalanick, said in a recent interview. “People need a ride somewhere, but they also need puppies and food delivered to them. So we had to think, what else can we bring to our customers? Maybe something they didn’t even know they needed. And that’s when Kirk [Cameron] said we need to just throw bibles at people while they’re trying to eat lunch. The man is brilliant!”

Uber will begin delivering bibles on Monday, August 29th in the form of the NIV, the NKJV, and The Message, as well as the abbreviated pocket sized Gideon bibles that will include only the New Testament plus Proverbs and Psalms. Bibles will be available to order via the Uber app in addition to being dropped off for unsuspecting Atheists. When asked how he came up with the idea, Cameron stated, “One day I just had a revelation…”

I Met Messiah: The Ghost of David Ben-Gurion

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New York City, NY – Chosen People Ministries and One for Israel have come together to produce the “I Met Messiah” videos; abbreviated testimonies from believers letting the world know how they met Messiah. In the newest yet to be released video, The Ghost of David Ben-Gurion, the primary founder of the modern state of Israel/Israel’s first Prime Minister/the founder of Israel’s leading airport, comes back to Earth to tell the story of how he came to faith:

“I was always a believer in God’s existence, but as far as Him sending His Son to die for my sins…no way. Nice Jewish boys don’t believe that. If I did, I probably never would’ve gone through my wild days of partying and doing drugs with Bob Dylan. And then I died. And there was Yeshua. I couldn’t believe it. The Son of God standing right in front of me. I had wasted my entire life not believing.”

Ben-Gurion is just one of billions of people who met Messiah and came to faith upon dying, but the first whose spirit actually came back to sit in the infamous “I Met Messiah” chair that we have all come to know and love. For the entire video or to see more “I Met Messiah” testimony videos please visit www.imetmessiah.com or www.ifoundshalom.com

UMJC, MJAA Create Joint Facebook Account to Show Everyone How Much They Love Each Other

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Los Angeles, CA/Springfield, PA – The Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations and The Messianic Jewish Alliance of America have joined forces for a second time, this time on Facebook. The two largest governing bodies in Messianic Judaism AKA “rival gangs” have decided to turn over a new leaf and become one. The UMJC and MJAA have created a joint Facebook account under the name “UMJC-MJAA Yeshua.”

“We’ve each deleted our respective accounts and created this new one,” stated UMJC-MJAA Yeshua, via Facebook chat. “We just love each other so much and the best way to show that to the world is to just share a Facebook account. We all know only those who are secure in their relationships share a Facebook account, and, boy are we secure in this relationship! Plus, we have so many mutual friends and shared interests, it just makes sense; we both love Ted Pearce, we both love food, and we even share some of the same Rabbis. It’s actually kind of a waste of space to have separate accounts at this point. We’re no longer individual organizations, but now we’re one and the same. And we do plan to have some fun with this as well. You’ll never know which one of us you’re getting when you Facebook message us! Who am I—-UMJC or MJAA? Do I want to study Torah or pray in tongues? Do I want to smoke a cigar or eat some ice cream? Do I want to be in a band that shares a name with a farm animal or do I want to save a country in Africa? You’ll never know!”

The UMJC and MJAA ask that their loyal fans now only communicate with them through this joint Facebook account in order to promote unity. If you make donations to either organization, please forward your credit card info to the new account in order to continue donating.