We asked a sample of 96 Messianic Rabbis what their favorite way to spend embezzled congregational funds is, and these were the top 10 most common answers:

10) Pay for a pickleball membership

9) Buy your youth leader a brand new kitchen floor

8) Pay off the police when they come looking for you

7) Pay off your whistleblowers

6) Buy a hooker

5) Buy four hookers

4) Go on an Ayahuasca retreat

3) Run for local office

2) Donate to Trump’s campaign for re-election

1) Cover legal fees for someone being deported from Israel for lying to get there in the first place